In 2015 I will...

I'm not really one for making New Year's resolutions. Primarily because why would January 1st be any different than any other day to make a change in your life? There's something symbolic, I suppose, about the "first of the year". It's a bit easier for us to take a moment and think about what we want to do better or how to be a better person. Maybe we get hopeful and ambitious because a lot of people are spending that day in their pj's watching football and you have to do something productive after you've seen that Skeletor car commercial for the 10th time.

Magic 8 Ball will I buy a Honda in 2015? Sources say No

I don't have any New Year's resolutions. I have goals, as I do most years.  Goals for running and life. But an article I recently read, Finding your Life Purpose, made me think about goals and resolutions a bit differently. There are a lot of gems in this article and I encourage you to read the whole piece. I'm going to focus on one piece that stuck out for me, especially as I started looking forward to my race calendar for 2015; what will you give up?

Any resolution you make, or goal you write down means something has to give. There are only 24 hours in a day and assuming you spend some of that sleeping, some of it working, perhaps a bit of it blogging, there are not many hours left for the other stuff. So when you take on a new hobby or want to excel at a current one it's going to take the spot of something else.

So I challenge you not to focus on some abstract resolution for 2015. It's too easy to  just make a list : lose weight, get a better job, find a life partner, buy a house, run 100 miles, etc. If there is something you really want to do better or new, whether you decide January 2015 or October 2015 really think about what it is you're doing, how you're going to do it, and if what you have to give up to accomplish it is worth it.

I made a commitment to myself about 3 years ago that I was going to run a 100mile ultra marathon. I've been working towards that goal ever since. Although sadly I just found out I didn't get into Leadville (I'm woefully behind a posts but will devote one to that rejection at some point). Leading up to that decision I found I really had to think about how doing this would affect me. Not just physically the day of the race, but leading up to and after the race. Running Leadville meant: not playing ultimate frisbee at the club level, missing a wedding of two of my good friends, foregoing a lot of ski weekends to run, foregoing a lot of everything to run, likely not being able to do much after the race for a month or two. I was at a new brewery down town talking with some of my good friends about this goal. That day I had drafted a training plan and doing that really made the whole "running is your life" doctrine sink in. It really is just a shitload of running. I looked at some weeks and did rough calculations of how many hours a week I would be running and in all honesty some weeks equated to a second full time job.

If you are one of those people who like to make new years resolutions go for it. I am 100% behind anyone and everyone striving to be a better person in the upcoming year and if the date 1/1 helps you vocalize it then do it. Just make sure you take that hopeful exuberance and pepper it with some real world allocation of that precious resource called time.

Whether we sign up for a race or get a gym membership writing down that "goal" is just one part of the whole pie. It does take a lot of courage to admit to yourself and your facebook friends that you are going to do something. It takes a lot more boring day to day planning and sacrifice to actually accomplish it.  Just because I didn't get into Leadville my goal is still alive and well. It just means that my training plans have shifted to more 50 milers this year and maybe more happy hours too.

I want to delve more into the concept of choices in a later post, but since January hasn't ended yet I decided to sneak this post in while I can still call it a "new years resolution post".

2015 Race Calendar

As I worked on my potential Leadville 100 training calendar it helped me look at and lay out the races I'm going this season. I'm excited for some of my favorites and some new ones in the mix. Luckily a lot of the races correspond really well with training, allowing me to do some long runs as races which means aid station support. Here's what 2015 is looking like:

Winter Race Series
Littleton, CO along the Platte River trail
December 20, January 17, February 21

I'm excited to do these races with my friend Jill. The first one was this weekend and it's a 10k. I'm pretty pleased with my time. I did a fast 5 mile run the night before so I was a little tight going into this race but I felt pretty good throughout the entire course. I finished in 53:21. The January and February races are 10 miles which will be good fun fast road runs.

Salida Run Through Time
Salida, CO
March 14

This is one of my favorite marathons in one of my favorites places in Colorado. I've already signed up and I'm pumped to try and beat my time from last year. My tentative Leadville training is a good motivator to get me out on trail training runs more which I feel was what my running last year was lacking (among other life events).

Platte River Buckhorn Exchange Half
Littleton, CO
April 12

I did this race 4ish years ago. It's a pretty fast half along the Platte River Trail. I'm excited to run it well since I doubt I'll be out until 1am drinking the night before. Sorry Shelly, this time you won't be able to tell me I smell like a bar when I run by.

Quad Rock 25
Fort Collins CO
May

I just signed up for this race. I learned so much on the course last year and this will be a great race to work on my uphill speed walking. I also hope to not add a matching scar. Hoping Kate will be around for this one cause no one touches the King's Eggs*

Grandma's Marathon
Duluth, MN
June

This one is a maybe and it's only if my sister decides to run it. I told her if she signed up for it I would run it with her. I'm a little apprehensive about this since it is so close to some other runs. I want to heed the advice from Ryan about not doing anything stupid to compromise my training so I will have to play it by ear. The race never fills up so I can make it a game time decision, but I'm keeping it on my radar for now.

Northfork 50k/50mi
Pine, CO
June

So much depends on if I get into Leadville or not. If I don't then I want another go at the 50 miler. If that's the case then I'll have to disappoint my sister and bow out of Grandma's. If I do get into Leadville, I'd like to do the 50k as a training run. It falls right in the middle of a 30mi/10mi weekend set so I think it would be good to get an aided trail run in for that.

Leadville 100
Leadville, CO
August 22

So that's the tentative calendar. Really the results of the Leadville lottery will determine a lot of what my summer race calendar looks like as well as my ultimate calendar. I'm playing a few fun tournaments (New Year's Fest in Tempe over Super Bowl weekend, Poultry Days, and Master's Nationals which are in Colorado this year!!!)

Idiots out wandering around

Training summary for December 14 - December 20

Recap of last week:

Well I didn't succeed in all of what I wanted to do last week. I got up a bit late on Saturday so didn't get a run in before the first official meeting of the Bagel Trust. It was ok though, I got some killer bagels and rugelach. I did get out on a run later that afternoon, 6 miles on the road so not the trail run I had hoped for.  So I could be mad, or I could just be happy that I got a good night sleep, good bagels with good friends, and a run in. Not too shabby.

Total Miles: 24

Week 2:

Sunday - eek, didn't get a run in. I have no excuse except for being out late on Saturday night, drinking a bit too much, and then going to a boozy brunch Sunday. I did get a heck of a lot done on Sunday, but none of it involved running shoes.

Monday - Mondays and Fridays are technically my "rest" days. But, understanding that life happens I know that sometimes I need to do runs on those days. So I pumped myself up as I left work on Monday and geared up for a longer run. I had a new podcast to tryout, Risk! and it was a great fit and something I'll add into my road run motivation set. I did a little over 8 miles and felt pretty good about myself after my lack luster weekend performance.

Tuesday - Hill Repeats. We did a little under 8 miles. I am still a lot slower than everyone else running, but I feel like I've got so much faster compared to last year. I ended up finishing the workout by myself which was ok. I forget how beautiful it is to be on top of the mountain and over look Denver and it was a nice sight to take in by myself after a hard workout. When I got back to the parking lot I was pretty happy to see that Ryan left me a Ninjabread in my car door.

Wednesday - Trivia! I didn't run I went to trivia and the Japanese Honey Bees pulled out a last minute win by rocking the Christmas Carol final category.

Thursday - eek, another missed day. I was going to run at lunch, but I've been on the struggle bus every morning and ended up rushing to get myself to work on time. Therefore I did not pack stuff to run at lunch. After work we had a stitch and bitch so I was busy cooking and hanging. No run, but it was a fun night.

Friday - I knew I had to run today. 3 days off is no good for consistency. I did a short 5 mile run in the neighborhood. Not a lot of miles, but I'm super excited by my pace. When I do my afterwork runs I just try to get the miles in and not worry too much about my pace. I went into this run wanting to take it pretty fast and I did it.

Saturday - Santa Stampede!  Jill and I are running the first race in the winter distance series!!! I'm super pumped for it, we get a  Santa hat you guys! It's a 10k so I'm excited to run it as fast as I can.

I'm planning on a longer run Sunday, I don't know if the weather will be cooperative to get in a trail run but that'd be my preference. I think it will be a great challenge to run the 10k hard and be tired for my Sunday long run.

Idiots out wandering around

Now that I officially put my name into the Leadville 100 Lottery I need to get some serious training in. To help keep myself more accountable than my kitchen calendar, I'm going to update the weeks training hopefully each Friday. I won't be linking these posts to social media (other than this first one) so if you're super curious about my training you'll have to come here by your self.

I have some newer posts in the queue that I'm working on, so have no fear my philosophical musing on running will reappear once I get my writing and editing on.

Leadville 100 / 2015 Running Season Training

WEEK ONE
December 7 - 13

Sunday: I was in Minnesota for my cousins wedding. Sunday's training consisted of eating brunch, taking a nap on my sisters love seat, going out to a fat italian dinner at a place my mom called "pantaloonees", and watching A Christmas Story the Musical. Yep...successfully training for the day after Leadville. (Author's note I did run 4ish miles on Saturday so that's not too bad for vacation)

Monday: I flew into Denver at 6:50am and went straight to work. I took a nap in my car. Came home and helped my mom set up her new iphone. Fell asleep before 9pm. Hey rest is important for good racing!

Tuesday: HILL REPEATS! 8ish miles up Rooney Valley trail followed by 10 shorts (5 running hard downhill 5 running hard uphill). The weather was amazing. I felt good overall, not much knee pain on the downhill which is a bonus. I'm still way slower than everyone else, but it was nice to have people at the top to run with.

Wednesday: 4ish miles during lunch. It was a struggle, the day after hills always seems harder and lunch runs are tough for me. I had some commitments after work so I wanted to make sure I got a run in even if it was a bit shorter.

Thursday: 6miles, normal loop in the hood. Felt a lot better than Wednesday.

Friday: Today is a rest day, I've had two cups of Denver Bike Cafe coffee so I'm pretty jittery.

Saturday: My training sheet says 18miles, but I haven't built up my mileage enough for that. To avoid injury the current plan is to try and do 10-13 miles on trail and then eat a lot of cookies and drink delicious beer at the ugly sweater cookie exchange party.

Shortest Fat Season Ever

We have a joke at the end of ultimate season that once you play your final game you start "fat" season (or fat week/fat month). It's more of an acknowledgment that you get to take a break from the last several months of working hard, giving up happy hours, and waking up early on Saturday mornings, etc. The end of September was my official start of "fat season" and I indulged it for the first few days. Until I went for a run, and I got hungry for running season. Then I saw this: Leadville 100.

There isn't much time to rest in between ultimate and running season. It's helpful that ultimate season keeps me in well enough shape that I can transition into running a bit easier, but mentally it can be a challenge. I'm basically trading one time consuming hobby for another. Add on the million other fun things to do in Colorado over the winter and the off-season of ultimate can be more of a time drain than the on.

I was lucky though to have a really good run first run so the mental hurdle of starting training wasn't too tall. It did get me thinking and I'd like to revisit a topic I've covered before; how to motivate your self to train when you really just want to sit on your couch, drink a beer, and watch House Hunters International on Hulu.

There are a few things that have helped me get out on a run in the past that I'm hoping to harness over the next few months. With the lessons I learned from the 50miler last summer I know I need to put in some longer hours on the trails and it's a bit daunting to think of the training road ahead. So this post is more of a self motivator, but I hope you can find something that may aid you going forward.

Sign up for a race

A great way to start running again is to sign up for a race. It gives you an end goal in mind, a finish line for training if that's what you need. It also motivates you to run for some higher purpose than just to run. I have a couple races on my docket for next year; Salida Run Through Time Marathon, Quad Rock 25mile. In addition to those I am hoping to get another crack at the North Fork 50miler and of course there's Leadville or another 100mile race. Those are all well and good, but they seem so far away. Even Salida, which is typically in March, seems far enough away that taking training seriously right now is difficult. I am looking into race that fall somewhere in the next few months to get me out and running, but sometimes even signing up for a race isn't quite enough of a push to get out on a Tuesday night.

Incentives. 

I've admitted before that podcasts are my guilty pleasure when road running. On days when I'm feeling really sluggish or unmotivated it's an incentive to catch up on episodes of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. I typically only allow myself to listen to these podcasts on runs and I've found it to be quite a good motivator. I also recently picked up some great beer from Minnesota (Bells Two Hearted and a selection of Surly) with the caveat that I put in some miles before I can truly enjoy them.

Feeling shitty

While it might sound counter productive, whenever I'm feeling bad, especially stomach stuff bad, a run usually helps. I'm sure there's some sciencey stuff behind it, but all I know is if I'm feeling bad running it out often works. It's still difficult to go out on a run, but with the potential of feeling better and being able to do more fun things because you're feeling better is a nice perk. True, sometimes you don't feel any better, but I rarely feel any worse.

Being Weird

I read a quote that was posted by Grandma's Marathon on facebook "The days when you least feel like running are usually the days you need it the most". When all else fails I will sometimes, literally, chant "you're going for a run" in my car as I drive home from work. I don't let myself think about anything else and I just repeat, outloud, that I'm going on a run. I am not sure what people in the car next to me think, but it usually gets me focused enough on running that there is no other option when I get home but to put my shoes on. Perhaps by putting it out to the universe it's harder to say no when you unlock your front door?

Truth be told I'm about 50 parts excited and 50 parts terrified for what I'm hoping to accomplish next year so I'm also trying to harness that into a motivation to run. Right now I'm up to 8miles for a long run which means I have a ways to go, but I'll get there. If anything, I've started a google doc for Leadville so hit me up if you want to join my crew and I'll put your name on the list.

Second Chances

I've been thinking a lot about second chances. You don't often get a second chance to do something better, and when you do sometimes you miss it. It's not easy to get a second chance in relationships, your career, or your athletic dreams so if you do wouldn't you take it?

Races are a special thing, unlike other sporting events, you can get a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc chance at a race. Sure, the racing field changes, the weather can be different, but there's still you and the course and if you sign up, pay the fee, win the entry lottery, you do get another chance to take on the challenge.  Running allows you the unique option to come back and see if you can best your demons and make a better imprint.

In ultimate we used to talk about your "last best chance". We never knew from year to year what the team would look like, what our competition would be, and if we as individuals had hit our "ultimate peak". That year, that game, that tournament, might be your last best chance to win a national championship. Unfortunately you don't know it until it's long passed. It may be your last best chance to qualify for Boston in your age group, it might be your last best chance to run a sub 5min mile. But you can often get another chance to run a better race (not always a faster race), but a better race.

A lot of people have asked me if I'll ever do a 50 miler again. The opinions from people ranging from "probably not right?" to "you better not" (my mom). I've gotten confused looks from people when I don't give a definitive no, or when I say not this year maybe next, or when I say well I want to do a 100 miler so probably. After suffering a lot in my 50 miler, and suffering even more in the weeks after, I can't help but think about how lucky I am to be able to give it another shot.

I'm not going to be a runner who wins races, so my best is running a race well. You get a lot of last best chances to be a smarter runner, a better runner. Sometimes that means winning sometimes it doesn't. I'm lucky that I still have the physical ability to train and the economic stability to enter races and travel to the start.

There are a lot of moments in life that everyone wishes they could do better or had done better. You don't have infinite chances as a runner, but you get a lot of them if you're willing to put in the work. I feel fortunate to get the chance to do it better and would feel like a fool not to take advantage of it. Wouldn't you?

Most Funnest Day Ever - or the 50mile recap

A lot can happen in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. A lot can happen to your body in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. A lot can happen in your brain in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. A lot can change in a person in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds.

To avoid being overly suspenseful, I finished the 50 miler. If you haven't guessed from the sentences above, it took me 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. I've struggled with the best way to sum up my experience, it's likely little bits and pieces of it will continue to trickle out through future blog posts. For the purpose of this post I'm going to take a page from one of my favorite podcasts; This American Life.

Each blog post I choose a theme and bring you stories on that theme. Today's theme; 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds.

Act 1: The little things. Over the course of 50 miles the little things add up.

Act 2: The fight. What happens when the brain, body, and stomach get into a fight?

Act 3: I get by with a little help from my friends. It's takes a village to finish a race, and sometimes a little rolling rock.

ACT I - The Little Things

This wasn't my first race. It wasn't my first ultra. It wasn't even the first time I was faced with spending many many hours out in the hot sun on my feet having to perform athletic awesomeness. Good performance is about nutrition, hydration, mental toughness, and physical preparedness and ability. I had all of these for the race. I had my go to nutrition - Gu gels as well as countless other things in my drop bags to supplement at aid stations. I had my go to hydration - salt bills and water mixed with HEED enduralite powder which packed electolytes as well as 300cal of per serving. I had mental toughness - I've been through enough shitty training runs and races to know I could get through a lot to finish. I had trained, I had worked for this. I was ready. Then things started happening...

It started out small. I tried to pass someone on a flat section at the beginning of the course and took a fall. Nothing major, but I had scraped my knee up good and could feel some soreness in my knees and ankle.

I stuck to my one Gu an hour plan and at about mile 8/10 I was ready to down my second Gu - strawberry banana. I ripped open the package and started oozing it into my  mouth and had the immediate reaction of wanting to vomit. I managed to choke the rest of it down, but it was brutal.

I made it to the mile 10.1 Homestead aid station and had Becca and Andy fill my waterbottle with HEED. It had some other HEED already in it, a different flavor, but I didn't really care much what it tasted like. I took off for Buffalo Creek aid station and my first drop bag stop.

I tried my third gu, it took my 20+ minutes to finish it, dribble by dribble into my mouth. Ugh...why did it make me want to puke?

The climb between mile 16 and mile 22 was tough, lots of walking. Lots of stomach pains. Not a lot of food/fuel.

I decided that the HEED was no longer working for me, I ran the section between mile 22 and mile 31.9 with only water and the food I managed to eat at the Rolling Creek Aid station (some watermelon, a piece of a candy bar, a part of a banana).

It was all those things, added up, that caught up to me from mile 31.9 on. The lack of fuel intake while running made it hard to find the energy to go faster. Since I was going slower, it also meant it took longer to get to aid stations where I was able to intake fuel. Can you see the pattern? I was unable to eat I know that had a huge impact on me, especially later in the race. I hadn't planned on having to come up with an alternative to fueling on the go, Gu has never given me trouble before. The HEED thing was weird too, I had done a lot of training runs with different mixtures and it always gave me  confidence that I was getting in calories through hydration. Not being able to ingest the two things I've always counted on was rough and it hurt me at the end of the race. I'm sure, looking at my splits, the  steep decline as soon as the lack of proper fuel kicked in was monumental.

ACT II - The fight.

Let me give you an taste of what my body, mind, and stomach were going through during the race in the form of a dialogue.

Stomach - Yeah, so I don't like what you're putting in me so if it's ok with you I'm just going to hurt here until it's gone.
Body - Well, we had an agreement Stomach. I'd put things in you and you'd turn it into energy so I could work.
Stomach - I know, but I changed my mind on what you can put in me. I want pickles right now and nothing else.
Mind - I'm trying to ask for pickles, but different words are coming out of my mouth.
Mind - oh, I got it, "Pickles, I need PICKLES". - what there are no pickles left? Oh...
Stomach - well I guess I could eat a banana and some chips, but it's pretty lame.

Body - Everything hurts a lot
Mind - well we need to keep going. This section is flat we should run
Body - nah, I've set everything on cruise control at an 18 minute mile so we're just going to do that for the rest of the race.
Mind - but the time cut-offs, we need to make the cut-offs!
Body - yep, 18 minute mile, ONE SPEED FOR EVERYTHING
Mind - I can override your system and make the legs go faster
Body - pretty sure you can't, I put a block on that, you no longer have control over your legs
Mind - I want ice, why do I keep saying salt?

Body - I have to pee
Mind - really, again?
Body - I have to pee NOW
Mind - ok, ok, go pee
Body - I forgot about the chaffing.

Mind - I don't know if I can finish
Body - well I'm just going to keep moving forward whether you tell me to or not
Mind - I don't know if I'll make the cut-offs
Body - ok we can try to go a little faster sometimes, stomach can you send me something?
Stomach - .....
Body - Stomach are you there?
Stomach - fu

Mind - There's .4miles to go, we're running
Body - fine
Stomach - fu

ACT III - I get by with a little help from my friends.

It literally took a village for me to finish this race. It took three friends and one dog to get me to and from the race. Of which I'm so thankful for. Kate, Spencer, Jimmy, and Atila can tell you what sorts of trouble they can get into for 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. The aid station people gave me food, ice, comfort, a chair. But more so they gave me something to look forward to every 4-6 miles. Knowing that I was one stop closer to actually stopping. Even if they ran out of pickles. Ryan had a beer for me at mile 46.2. At that was amazing, also because he had a chair for me to drink it in. I did drink it, only about 1/4 of it. But it was a delicious, cold Rolling Rock. Liz made sure I ate food at the aid station, even though I didn't want to. She gave me a hunk of some weird candy bar and the whole aid station cheered me on as I climbed back out and on with the race. Janice the race coordinator at the finish. Despite being the 2nd to last person to finish the race, they cheered with what I can only imagine was the same enthusiasm as when the first person crossed the finish line. And then she hugged me. Sweaty, tired, emotional wrecked me.

Erin - without whom I don't think I could finish it. I didn't know Erin until I met her at Mile 22. She joined me at mile 31.9 and spent some very intimate time with me for the next 6 hours. She went from being a friend of Liz who was interested in pacing, to someone who I couldn't live without. She put up with my brain refusing to work and freaking me out, my mood swings of optimism to crabby, and anything weird that my body was going through at any given moment which was a lot. We talked, we cheered when we saw a trail sign, we joked about obsessive compulsive tendencies like counting steps, and there was no question in my mind I wanted her to cross the finish line with me at the end.

Epilogue - Dehydration is a horrible

I thought I was in ok shape the day after the race. I had trouble eating breakfast, but I felt ok. Drank a few beers, took a nap, watched soccer. I was sore and just assumed that was that. Then I was flung into a pit of horribleness. I referred to myself as the walking dead for the next week. I was not prepared for the late onset dehydration, which Erin informed me can come on 2-3 days after a race. It was like I had the flu, without the comfort of knowing how to treat it or when it would end. I was chilled, I even have a small burn on my foot from putting a bottle of hot water on my skin to try and warm it up.  I had weird fever thoughts when I tried to go to bed at night. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't speak well or articulate my thoughts, and I couldn't eat. I managed to get down a bowl of ramen type noodles thanks to Dan and Allison and a couple vitamin waters. I'm happy to report that things are much better. Everything except for the food part. I've managed to start eating some more meals, but it's sad to not be able to eat normally like I am used to and love to. It's improving, but just at a slower rate than I want.

Will I ever do it again? - Time will tell. I will say that this was an awesome race, well organized, well put on, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to attempt it.