Journey to Endor

it was pretty damn beautiful out there

California came and went pretty quickly and before I knew it, Christmas - New Years - 2016. So much of the last few months have been consumed with this race I feel like I crammed in a fall/winter's worth of activities in one month. So 2016 is almost  is here. I had a pretty full plate, race wise, in 2015. All of it was capped off with the North Face Endurance Challenge 50 miler December 5.

Obviously I've been struggling writing this post since it is now more than a month post race. I could easily blame the hubbub of the holidays, which is partially true, or I could admit that this post, like this race, was difficult to finish. Running  any distance is a journey and rarely do journeys happen without a hitch or two. The longer the distance, the more chances for these bumps in the road to catch you. Trying to some up 13hours and 42minutes of running in one blog post isn't easy. We laughed, we cried, we talked about Portlandia, and I came to some truths about where I want to go next in my running career.

Waiting for the start!
Not Pictured, Donny cause he was in line for coffee

First and foremost, the race was amazing and my crew was out of this world. I couldn't have done this without Donny, Beth, and Carissa helping me out. We had such a blast the whole weekend there were many times when all the prep and running hardly felt like work. Kudos to all the friends we met out there and especially our hosts who provided me with such a comfy couch and bed to recover on. The race was very well organized, parking situation aside, and all of the aid stations crews went above and beyond making sure you had everything you needed, including a bit of conversation.

In the course description of this race they focus a lot on the "mysterious car wreck" which you run by twice on the trail. Seriously, they bring it up several times and make it sound like a pretty sweet part of the course. Coming from Colorado, it really just looks like any rusty old piece of mining equipment you can see on a 14er or in the middle of Downtown Breckenridge. What I can't believe is the race promoters focused so much on a car and not even one footnote caption on the fact that we ran through ENDOR!

No, not that we ran through forests that reminded you for Endor. We ran through  Endor, A large chunk of the back half of the course was through the Muir woods which is where George Lucas filmed the Ewok parts of Return of the Jedi.

According to Wookieepedia: By the time of the Galactic Civil War, the Ewoks had reached a level of civilization where they engaged in religious, artistic, medical and even political activities. Nevertheless, they still focused most of their energies on the daily provision of food.

What a great segue because I'm sure everyone is wondering, how's your stomach Emily?

Well it's great! I had almost zero food issues during the race and more importantly no major issues after the race. My post race success is largely due to Beth forcing me to "drink this", "eat that", "now drink this again". Front loading calories was huge because I wasn't very interested in eating later on in the race. I managed to get in a good 200 or so calories every hour and mixed it up between Raw Revolution Bars, Honeystinger Waffles and chews, and even a PB&J sandwich. Bringing pickles was also the best decision I've made so far in my 30s, they had NO pickles at any of the aid stations. Are pickles just a Colorado thing?

Now, over a month post race, I'm happy to report I have had no real digestion issues. I did notice a small lack of an appetite initially, but no where near what I felt like after the North Fork 50 in 2014. I could most definitely eat half a sandwich a week post race.

Overall I felt healthy internally and the real struggles came more from the physical difficulty of the race rather than me sabotaging myself.

Stinson Beach - we ran down to it then
back up with zero shark attacks 

The first 26 miles or so were great. I kept promising myself not to "be an asshole" and run conservatively. The challenge was the first half of the race was so runnable. It was hard not to blast through it even if I was trying to play it cool. I will not sit here and try to tell you that running uphill is the easiest part of trail running. It's not, but running downhill can be so much more painful than you can imagine. I first noticed the toll all the downhill running was taking on me as I came into the Mile 27ish aid station, where I would pick up Carissa for pacing. The trail went from flat/mellow rolling to a steep decline into Stinson
Beach.

The climb immediately after the 27 mile aid station was obviously concocted by Satan within the bowels of hell.

It was 3ish miles of this:

Honestly these stairs looked a lot taller in person and
lot more frequent in occurrence then this picture shows. 

Just stairs upon stairs. As an avid "Pro-Stair" person, never in my life have I wished more for an elevator. They just kept going and my legs just kept going and then my legs and I had to go down and suddenly the stairs going up didn't seem so bad.

The race was really rough for me from about Mile 40 until Mile 48.9. I tried to spend enough time at aid stations to get some food, but I knew if I stopped and sat down the likelihood of getting up again wasn't high. I tried my best to just keep moving forward and focused on Beth retelling me an episode of Portlandia and how the same thing happened to Donny when he tried to donate clothes to the thrift store in Crested Butte. The great thing is, despite all the pain I experienced the 9 miles, the thing I remember most about that stretch is the story about the thrift store* not the hurt in my legs or frustration in my head.

Beth and I at the finish, all I wanted to
do was sit down but I had to take this picture

I'm really excited to have finished this race. It was a lot more challenging terrain wise then I had
anticipated (Rocky Mountain Hubris). It was also a lot more beautiful than I could have pictured. The first half of the course is really fast and awesome. The only real disappointing part of the course was the section by the "famous wrecked car". It was beautiful running, overlooking the ocean, but it was also two way traffic on the most single-tracky parts of the course. The perks of being a faster runner were seen in that section since return traffic had the right of way. I got real good at balancing on the slope side of the trail.

As I finished the last few miles of this race I realized I still have a long way to go before attempting a 100 miler. With that in mind I chose not to enter the Leadville 100 lottery for 2016 and instead focus on improving my 50 mile running and give a go at a 100k.

I may make a return trip for this race. Whenever you have a less then amazing race performance there is always the drive to return to the scene of the crime and do better. I think I can give this course another shot now that I know what to expect trail and terrain wise.

Physical prowess aside, mental toughness is the biggest asset you can have when ultra running. The sheer desire to finish and finish under the cut-off can overcome some of the worst quad aches you can imagine. I knew I could do it, even when I felt the absolute worst, the concept of not finishing didn't take up much real estate in my brain. People usually say I'm crazy for doing this and that there is no way they could ever do a race that long. You totally can, if I can, you can. But you have to go into it knowing you can overcome all the stuff/hitches/roadblocks/demons that will most certainly try and root themselves in your brain. Training for this race I wrote about Doubt and how dangerous that thought can be. Knowing I have the mental toughness to not even let doubt in for 50 miles reminds me that I can do this again and I will.

*Bonus the thrift store rejects became that nights Rocky Horror Picture Show outfit if only I had a picture. 

Great Expectations

It is now under a week until the start of the North Face Endurance Challenge. In less than 4 days I'll be venturing out into Golden Gate National Recreation area for a short 50 mile jaunt in the woods. Cue: freakout.

Yes, I know I wrote a month ago how eerily calm I was. I also wrote that I would have the pre-race freakout and here it is.

Carissa (my pacer), me, and Denas just Denas prepping for the race!

A large part of freaking out, at least for me, is knowing that there really is nothing else you can do to
prepare for the race except get sleep and avoid injury. Looking at my checklist as long as I pack my running shoes I can stumble into California and figure it out until my foot crosses the finish line. Have more inspiring words ever been written?

My biggest goal for this race is to finish. Coupled with finishing is finishing healthy. I want to prove to myself that I can manage my body and nutrition for 50 miles and live to tell about it. The less time I spend huddled in the fetal position in my bed fighting off fever dreams post race the better. Here's how I'm going to do it:

Eat Smart

I have a huge bag full of Raw Revolution bars. But I know I cannot depend on one item to get me through the race so I am also bringing honey stinger waffles, other energy bars (TBD what is on sale at whole foods), electrolyte chews, various types of gels, sour patch kids, peanut butter cups, salmon jerky, nut thins. I am probably going to stash a tuna packet in my drop bags as well as pickles (duh). I'll also have nuun for my water bottle.

Drink Smart

I have forgone beer since Saturday night and plan to until Friday night. You're not supposed to mess with tradition and I always drink a beer the night before races and this one is no different. Thanks to Kircher, the accidental pedestrian, for instilling this important pre-race strategy in my head oh so long ago. Perhaps most importantly will be drinking smart after the race. Yes I will also drink a beer after the race, but what really killed me last time was failing to hydrate the next 24 hours post race. I am going to make sure I am not just drinking water, but drinking plenty of electrolytes.

The big test will be the Saturday after the race. Jill "drilltime" Fairchild and I are going to run a 5k. Yes, a week after running 50 miles I am going to run a 5k. Seriously though you guys, the shirts they give out for this 5k are so soft and comfortable it's worth it.

Despite what it sounds like, I am still hella nervous for this race. Last Saturday I was skinning up a mountain to ski it and all I could think was: next Saturday I'll be running on dirt in shorts for 50 miles. Mentally my brain is having a really hard time understanding that this race is happening. There's snow on the ground, the trails are covered, it's ski season not running season.

While my primary goal is to finish and finish healthy I do have some other goals for the race. I would like to finish in 13 hours. My last 50 miler took me 13 hours and 41 minutes (ish, I might have been 47 I don't recall). I think I can run it in 13. I'll have the aid of altitude and a kick ass pacing crew to get me there. Running smart will be key, unlike Colorado these trails will be very tempting to run the hell out of right off the bat so starting out at a smart pace will only help me in the long run. I remember Liz's only advice before my first 50; "don't be an asshole on the first hill". Wise words indeed.

As a final note regarding goals and hopes for this race the phrase "Great Expectations" comes to mind. So often we have expectations. Expectations that people will do a certain thing or react a certain way. Expectations that a race will go a certain way. We cannot force a race to be exactly what we want it to be the same way we can't force people to be what we want them to be. You can train, prepare, follow a plan, but in the end you just have to let it happen and take each step as it comes. I read recently; "we cannot remake the world to suit us". I cannot make a race be a certain thing I just have to take what I've done the past 6-7 months and go. Come 5am December 5th I'll be on my way.

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NorthFork 50k

It's hard to believe the NorthFork 50k is on Saturday. In years past I would probably be in full on freak out mode right now but leading up to this race I've been eerily calm and confident. When people ask how long a certain race is or how long I went on a training run I always feel like I have to "qualify" it if I'm not doing the longer race or run. How far is your race this weekend "It's just a 50k". yes I realize how silly saying "it's just" sounds when it's a 50k. Perhaps, going back to a previous post, I am still at a point where I have difficulty celebrating myself.

I've been in this position before, a week before a race, but this time I know what to expect for the most part. I know there will be moments of pain, moments of joy, moments of doubt and moments of confidence. I know all the trails, I know all the climbs, I know it gets hot out in the burn area and that there will likely be a thunderstorm at some point in the day. I also know I can finish, all I don't know is how I'll feel getting to the finish.

One of my biggest goals for this race is to conquer the food demons that plagued me a year ago in the 50 miler. While I won't be pushing myself to the same limit as I did then; 50k is still ample opportunity to have some major nutrition disasters and I want to mitigate that as much as I can. I ordered a big box of Raw Revolution bars and am planning on cutting them up like gummies and eating them along the race course. I've already got a few pickles in reserve that I am going to put in my drop bag at the Buffalo Creek aid station (we pass through it twice on for the 50k). Here's what my nutrition plan is looking like:

Stuff to carry while running:

• raw revolution bars
• sour patch kids
• gels (just in case of emergency)
• honey stinger or GU gummies (whatever is cheapest)
• nuun
• salt pills

Stuff to put in my drop bag:

• sour patch kids
• pickles
• protein (either hummus or tempeh wrapped in a cabbage leaf)
• nuun
• peanut butter cups
• honey stinger waffles

The aid stations have a lot of other items to supplement what I'm carrying (chips, M&Ms, sandwiches, ice, etc). I decided against doing the enduralite powder I used last year. That did not sit well with me and I haven't been training with it. I have been using nuun (both running and ultimate) and it's felt really good tummy wise. I learned my lesson with the pickle shortage last year and I'm sure they will taste awesome at mile 24.3. 

The weather is shaping up to be nice. Highs in the 70s, chance of an afternoon thunderstorm, but not to bad. I'm sure it will still feel hot but 70s is a lot better than 90s, especially when there's shade!

Other than nutrition, I do have a time goal for this race. My first 50k, Sageburner, was a tough one. I came in at 7 hours and 15 mine. I think I can get under 7 hours this go around. I have to figure out what that means splitwise during aid stations, but I think I can do it. I've run these trails so many times and I've got some good hard trail runs under my belt leading up to this. My achilles is feeling ready so all that's left is to lace up the shoes and go. 

I know some people (cough cough...mom...cough cough) are worried about me. My 50 mile experience does not inspire a lot of confidence. The Vegas odds might be in favor of me exploding on Saturday. To rest my critics, and the voices in my head, I feel a lot better prepared this time around. Not just because it's not 50 miles, 50k is not something to take lightly, I feel like I learned a lot from last year and have put in a lot of time figuring out how to run smarter and how to take care of my body better. There will be tough points, pain, discomfort, uneasiness. But that's all part of ultra running. I already requested a beer from Ryan at his aid station and hope to drink more than 1/4 of it! All that aside, I am going to listen to my body, make sure I'm eating, drinking, electrolyting and hopefully that translates in to a good race and a good week after the race. LFG  

Most Funnest Day Ever - or the 50mile recap

A lot can happen in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. A lot can happen to your body in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. A lot can happen in your brain in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. A lot can change in a person in 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds.

To avoid being overly suspenseful, I finished the 50 miler. If you haven't guessed from the sentences above, it took me 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. I've struggled with the best way to sum up my experience, it's likely little bits and pieces of it will continue to trickle out through future blog posts. For the purpose of this post I'm going to take a page from one of my favorite podcasts; This American Life.

Each blog post I choose a theme and bring you stories on that theme. Today's theme; 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds.

Act 1: The little things. Over the course of 50 miles the little things add up.

Act 2: The fight. What happens when the brain, body, and stomach get into a fight?

Act 3: I get by with a little help from my friends. It's takes a village to finish a race, and sometimes a little rolling rock.

ACT I - The Little Things

This wasn't my first race. It wasn't my first ultra. It wasn't even the first time I was faced with spending many many hours out in the hot sun on my feet having to perform athletic awesomeness. Good performance is about nutrition, hydration, mental toughness, and physical preparedness and ability. I had all of these for the race. I had my go to nutrition - Gu gels as well as countless other things in my drop bags to supplement at aid stations. I had my go to hydration - salt bills and water mixed with HEED enduralite powder which packed electolytes as well as 300cal of per serving. I had mental toughness - I've been through enough shitty training runs and races to know I could get through a lot to finish. I had trained, I had worked for this. I was ready. Then things started happening...

It started out small. I tried to pass someone on a flat section at the beginning of the course and took a fall. Nothing major, but I had scraped my knee up good and could feel some soreness in my knees and ankle.

I stuck to my one Gu an hour plan and at about mile 8/10 I was ready to down my second Gu - strawberry banana. I ripped open the package and started oozing it into my  mouth and had the immediate reaction of wanting to vomit. I managed to choke the rest of it down, but it was brutal.

I made it to the mile 10.1 Homestead aid station and had Becca and Andy fill my waterbottle with HEED. It had some other HEED already in it, a different flavor, but I didn't really care much what it tasted like. I took off for Buffalo Creek aid station and my first drop bag stop.

I tried my third gu, it took my 20+ minutes to finish it, dribble by dribble into my mouth. Ugh...why did it make me want to puke?

The climb between mile 16 and mile 22 was tough, lots of walking. Lots of stomach pains. Not a lot of food/fuel.

I decided that the HEED was no longer working for me, I ran the section between mile 22 and mile 31.9 with only water and the food I managed to eat at the Rolling Creek Aid station (some watermelon, a piece of a candy bar, a part of a banana).

It was all those things, added up, that caught up to me from mile 31.9 on. The lack of fuel intake while running made it hard to find the energy to go faster. Since I was going slower, it also meant it took longer to get to aid stations where I was able to intake fuel. Can you see the pattern? I was unable to eat I know that had a huge impact on me, especially later in the race. I hadn't planned on having to come up with an alternative to fueling on the go, Gu has never given me trouble before. The HEED thing was weird too, I had done a lot of training runs with different mixtures and it always gave me  confidence that I was getting in calories through hydration. Not being able to ingest the two things I've always counted on was rough and it hurt me at the end of the race. I'm sure, looking at my splits, the  steep decline as soon as the lack of proper fuel kicked in was monumental.

ACT II - The fight.

Let me give you an taste of what my body, mind, and stomach were going through during the race in the form of a dialogue.

Stomach - Yeah, so I don't like what you're putting in me so if it's ok with you I'm just going to hurt here until it's gone.
Body - Well, we had an agreement Stomach. I'd put things in you and you'd turn it into energy so I could work.
Stomach - I know, but I changed my mind on what you can put in me. I want pickles right now and nothing else.
Mind - I'm trying to ask for pickles, but different words are coming out of my mouth.
Mind - oh, I got it, "Pickles, I need PICKLES". - what there are no pickles left? Oh...
Stomach - well I guess I could eat a banana and some chips, but it's pretty lame.

Body - Everything hurts a lot
Mind - well we need to keep going. This section is flat we should run
Body - nah, I've set everything on cruise control at an 18 minute mile so we're just going to do that for the rest of the race.
Mind - but the time cut-offs, we need to make the cut-offs!
Body - yep, 18 minute mile, ONE SPEED FOR EVERYTHING
Mind - I can override your system and make the legs go faster
Body - pretty sure you can't, I put a block on that, you no longer have control over your legs
Mind - I want ice, why do I keep saying salt?

Body - I have to pee
Mind - really, again?
Body - I have to pee NOW
Mind - ok, ok, go pee
Body - I forgot about the chaffing.

Mind - I don't know if I can finish
Body - well I'm just going to keep moving forward whether you tell me to or not
Mind - I don't know if I'll make the cut-offs
Body - ok we can try to go a little faster sometimes, stomach can you send me something?
Stomach - .....
Body - Stomach are you there?
Stomach - fu

Mind - There's .4miles to go, we're running
Body - fine
Stomach - fu

ACT III - I get by with a little help from my friends.

It literally took a village for me to finish this race. It took three friends and one dog to get me to and from the race. Of which I'm so thankful for. Kate, Spencer, Jimmy, and Atila can tell you what sorts of trouble they can get into for 13 hours 41 minutes and 46 seconds. The aid station people gave me food, ice, comfort, a chair. But more so they gave me something to look forward to every 4-6 miles. Knowing that I was one stop closer to actually stopping. Even if they ran out of pickles. Ryan had a beer for me at mile 46.2. At that was amazing, also because he had a chair for me to drink it in. I did drink it, only about 1/4 of it. But it was a delicious, cold Rolling Rock. Liz made sure I ate food at the aid station, even though I didn't want to. She gave me a hunk of some weird candy bar and the whole aid station cheered me on as I climbed back out and on with the race. Janice the race coordinator at the finish. Despite being the 2nd to last person to finish the race, they cheered with what I can only imagine was the same enthusiasm as when the first person crossed the finish line. And then she hugged me. Sweaty, tired, emotional wrecked me.

Erin - without whom I don't think I could finish it. I didn't know Erin until I met her at Mile 22. She joined me at mile 31.9 and spent some very intimate time with me for the next 6 hours. She went from being a friend of Liz who was interested in pacing, to someone who I couldn't live without. She put up with my brain refusing to work and freaking me out, my mood swings of optimism to crabby, and anything weird that my body was going through at any given moment which was a lot. We talked, we cheered when we saw a trail sign, we joked about obsessive compulsive tendencies like counting steps, and there was no question in my mind I wanted her to cross the finish line with me at the end.

Epilogue - Dehydration is a horrible

I thought I was in ok shape the day after the race. I had trouble eating breakfast, but I felt ok. Drank a few beers, took a nap, watched soccer. I was sore and just assumed that was that. Then I was flung into a pit of horribleness. I referred to myself as the walking dead for the next week. I was not prepared for the late onset dehydration, which Erin informed me can come on 2-3 days after a race. It was like I had the flu, without the comfort of knowing how to treat it or when it would end. I was chilled, I even have a small burn on my foot from putting a bottle of hot water on my skin to try and warm it up.  I had weird fever thoughts when I tried to go to bed at night. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't speak well or articulate my thoughts, and I couldn't eat. I managed to get down a bowl of ramen type noodles thanks to Dan and Allison and a couple vitamin waters. I'm happy to report that things are much better. Everything except for the food part. I've managed to start eating some more meals, but it's sad to not be able to eat normally like I am used to and love to. It's improving, but just at a slower rate than I want.

Will I ever do it again? - Time will tell. I will say that this was an awesome race, well organized, well put on, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to attempt it.