Achilles Heel (Quad Rock Take Two)

Achilles heel is a deadly weakness in spite of overall strength. I'm not the fastest runner, but I'm very determined. Sometimes my determination gets in the way of good judgment. Read on...

So if you've been anxiously awaiting a recap of Quad Rock you'll have to wait longer. The race was postponed due to the insane amounts of rain we got in Colorado in May. For the integrity of the trails they canceled the race and rescheduled it for June 14th.

As much as I try to be flexible and not worry too much about planning every detail, I really hate when things get out of sync with my plan. When I go on a run I like to know exactly how far I'm going, or at least close to it. When I am planning for a race I want to have most of my big training runs planned out. It's awesome to be able to incorporate a race as a long training run because you get to practice being in "race mode" and you get a fully aided training run. So Quad Rock was perfect, it was just over a month before the North Fork 50k so I could get in a good long training run in race mode.

Well now it's this weekend, just 2 weeks before North Fork. Not ideal for a race, but not too bad for an aided training run. I had already resigned myself to treating it as a training run and not a race. Meaning no time goals, just focusing on time on my feet running trails. It was tough for me to accept this. Every year I've run Quad Rock I've shaved huge amounts off my finish times. It was exciting to think I could continue with this pattern. But alas, that's not in the cards for me so my goal for Quad Rock is to survive without any gashes on my limbs.

To add another little wrench into the plan, because why not, I am also coming in to this race a bit injured. Perhaps the universe is telling me something or maybe I'm just clumsy, but this is the second year I've hurt myself 3 weeks before North Fork playing frisbee. I thought I was doing it right, not playing a tournament, not practicing, just playing good ol'league. It's no one's fault that I got hurt, but if we did want to point fingers I would probably point them at a certain person who shall remain nameless who pump faked instead of throwing it to my wide open cut in the endzone. Long story short I thought I ruined my knee. Flashes of similar movements from teammates that resulted in ACL tears flashed through my mind. Coupled with a sharp crunch feeling with pain in my knee and I thought my summer was over in an instant.

Thankfully my knee, and as far as I know all tendons and ligaments, are intact. After the fear of an ACL tear subsided and I was able to bend and extend my knee without trouble and walk on it the next day without pain. I did however do something to my Achilles tendon. (My googling and talk with a PT friend leads me to believe it's Achilles tendinitis). This is largely a symptom of a nagging injury I've had for awhile so I can't really blame anyone for this. The abrupt cut and plant on my leg just brought it all to head. A smart person would not run this weekend. A certain smart person weighed the pros and cons and decided to run this weekend and she's going to be super careful.

My achilles heel may be my determination to push through things despite the risks. I was determined to play frisbee league even though firsbee is probably the worst thing to do along side distance running. I was determined to keep running long distances throughout May with the constant rain driving me to put in a lot of long pavement miles on shoes that really need to be replaced. And I'm determined to run the North Fork 50k.

Here's why I'm choosing to run this weekend. I am running the North Fork 50k. Unless one of my legs gets chopped off and I don't have time to get a replacement leg I'm running this thing. Right now that's my last big race until the fall and it's the one I've been focused on since I didn't get in to Leadville. I see my choices as the following:

1. Run Quad Rock, rest/taper the next two weeks, Run North Fork
2. Skip Quad Rock, rest/taper the next two weeks plus 5 days, Run North Fork
3. Skip Quad Rock and North Fork and be sad :(

The only real choice is between one and two and here's why I'm choosing option one. For now the pain is manageable and is actually better when I'm moving versus not moving. The thought of not running at all from today to North Fork is just not something I think I can do and feel ok about North Fork. I would much rather get in a long fast "hike" this weekend and then let myself rest a bit over doing nothing at all. I feel like I can do a better, more successful, job at resting if I do Quad Rock. If I don't do Quad Rock I will be tempted to do things like play frisbee and run on pavement which are two things that I should most definitely not do if I want to heal myself.

I know there are a lot of people shaking their heads at me. Just know that I understand the risks and if I were on the other side I would probably be trying to convince this person to just take the rest of the month off and heal. But my achilles heel is my determination(stubborness) and it may lead to my downfall or it may just be an Achilles Heel that will heal.

Injuries aside, it's supposed to be beautiful up in Fort Collins this weekend and it should be a really awesome race! I'm excited to continue working on my nutrition and power walking up hill and am hoping there's a PBR waiting for me at at least one of the aid stations!

 

Quad Rock 25 2015 Preview

me and a Tiger chilling Quad Rock 2014

It's hard to believe the Quad Rock 25 is just days away. It seems like I was just finishing the Salida Marathon and crossing the finish line at the Platte River Half. In the past trying to cram in all my running pre-ultimate season felt like the norm, but as I take more steps away from competitive ultimate it's hard to get used to having the whole summer and fall to dedicate to running and not just the spring. Quad Rock, my third race, is almost here, yet I feel like running season is just starting.

Going into the race I have a pretty laid back expectation for myself. My training suffered some with the move so my focus is more on finishing the race and feeling healthy and not beating my previous times. While I do feel like my trail running continues to get stronger each season, I did not put in the miles I needed for a fast 25 mile race like the challenges Quad Rock throws at you.

My time last year was 5:37:38. Ultrasingup is predicting my time to be 6:09:03 so my goal is to beat the computer algorithm estimating my time because screw you machines I do what I want.  Other than this arbitrary time goal some other things I'm shooting for in this race are:

Power Walking:

Get better at power walking uphill. This strategy proved to be awesome for me last year and I'm hoping to build on it this time around. Looking forward to my 50k in June and 50 miler this fall the better and faster I can get at walking will only help me keep up a good pace in the later stages of tough/long races.

Get In My Belly:

Nutrition is still at the forefront of my mind. I had a great discussion with a lady at my 50k training run last weekend about stomach issues and why gu can make your stomach hurt and better ways to take care of yourself post race. I am still going to bring some gu for emergency purposes but will continue with a more solid natural food approach for this race. I utilized Raw Revolution during Salida and had good results. Of course I'll also binge eat M&Ms and am pretty sure at least one of the aid stations has PBRs which I am hoping to imbibe. I also really need to remember salt pills!

Fally McTumbleton:

I'm hoping I can get through the race without the possibility of needing stitches! I've actually been doing ok recently staying on my feet so we'll see. My concern right now is shoe choice. My Pearl Izumis are on their last legs. I am in desperate need of new shoes (as evidence by a re-occuring blister on my right arch). I am debating wearing my La Sportivas for this race but I haven't run in them in awhile. I am taking them out tonight for a test.

Outside of those three things: power walking, nutrition, and bodily harm, I am looking forward to having fun. The weather is predicted to be cool and rainy with a chance of thunderstorms. Not great hanging out weather but it may prove to be nice running weather. I'm torn on what to wear right now. I told Catt I was wearing a duct tape dress and given the possibility of rain maybe that's a good idea? Speaking of Catt, the one and only Wilmer Wilson is running the race too which means lots of fun beer drinking and smack talk before and after in Fort Collins!

LFG runners!

Change

Most people who know me know that I don't like change. I like to stay in my comfort zone, where I am happy and where I know what to expect. So, suffice to say, right now I am way out of my comfort zone. I just moved out of my happy little highlands hood to south Broadway. Nothing has made that sink in more than my running schedule. My "running schedule" which has been non existent since the Platte River Half-Marathon.

I have many voices that live in my head. Two of the most vocal lately are the rationalizer and the risk taker. The rationalizer has been shouting ever since the risk taker made us move neighborhoods. The rationalizer says it's ok that I haven't run that much because I'm moving and I have to pack, and unpack, and clean. The risk taker is quietly calling "bullshit". I know the risk taker is right, the real reason I haven't been running as much is because I'm scared. I'm scared for the very silly, but real, reason that I don't have routes figured out near my new place. What if I run down a street without a side walk?! How do I pick the perfect route?! What if I'm only one block away from an amazing run?!

I was spoiled at my old place. I could do a 5, 6, 7.5, 10.5 mile run through quiet neighborhoods and around nice lakes and parks. I knew exactly where I needed to be when the listener limrick challenge came on. Now I have to take 5 years of habit and throw it out the window for something new.

Yes I realize I'm being ridiculous. Especially since I now live within a stones throw from Wash Park. Any given day there are hoards of runners zipping a long the path, a DIRT path! I don't even have to confine myself to mostly pavement. I can run on dirt. But there is something comforting in looking at my training schedule, seeing the number 6, and knowing I can get home from work, throw on stuff, and be out the door. There is no planning, just tie my shows and zip out. Routine is nice, when you have little time to get miles in during the week not having to over think your run eliminates one of the hurdles to getting a run in on days you don't feel like it.

Routine is also the enemy. By worrying about where to run I'm neglecting a real benefit discovering new running routes. It's so easy to get complacent and plateau your training when you are running the same thing every week. I've been running the same thing every week day for 5 years. My body can run on autopilot for 10ish miles in my neighborhood without skipping a beat. Having to expand my routes and look at new paths mean I'm not only challenging my body but also  my brain. I often lament, after races, that I wish I had trained more for this or that. I now have a perfect, although forced by necessity, opportunity to do just that. Mix things up and see if I can see the results in my next races.

On that note a little update on my races.

I did the Platte River Half a few weekends ago. It was a lot of fun! Jill and I ran most of it together which was fun to have someone to chat with during the race. I finished in 1:59 which was my goal (to be under 2 hours).

My next race is Quad Rock coming up May 9th! Just a few weeks away. I'll have a pre-race post up before that, but for now I have to get my butt in gear and get some miles in.

Don't let perfection be the enemy of good - A Salida Recap

First trail race of the season - check!

I was doing some thinking while I was running, I had a good 5:45 to think, and I realized that this was also my first big race since the 50 miler last year. It is hard not to feel a little gooey inside thinking that I was finally back out on a trail doing what I love to do.

Speaking of gooey...the trail was interesting. I have had my fair share of runs on less than ideal conditions and the trails this time did not disappoint. Unfortunately my first thoughts following the race were "darn...15min slower than the last two years that sucks". Fortunately, processing the race with everyone there that weekend I realized that wanting to run a perfect race shouldn't get in the way of all the good that came from this race. Here are my highlights and lowlights:

1. THIS:

Me enjoying some PBR at mile 13.2 with the Absolute Bike Volunteers

This was the best part of the race. You come to this aid stating after running up a road for a really long time, running by this aid station so you can go another 1.5ish miles (half way you have to run around a cone where a guy is standing there watching to make sure everyone runs around the cone) and hit this oasis at 13.2. As I came running down the hill the lady at the turn off shouts "turn here to continue, straight ahead if you need aid....or PBR".  My friend Jill, who was running the half, was really excited that there was a race with PBR at the aid stations. In honor of her I thought, "yes, I am stopping and doing this". I trotted up to the tent, all I had to say was PBR and my new bartender jumped at the task. He filled up a small cup and we enjoyed our drink, snapped a quick pic, and I went burping away.

2. Nutrition

Ok, now the boring stuff. For me, this was super exciting. One of my biggest struggles at the 50miler was food and fuel intake. As you may recall from that recap post my stomach and head had a really frustrating debate about what I could consume without wanting to barf. I decided to try something new for this race, which I had tested a bit on training runs, all solid food. I had gu chomps and honey stinger chews where I agree would be considered "solid", but they have electrolytes and caffine and they fit in my pocket well so they count. I also used Raw Nutrition Bars. I was introduced to these by the folks at Voormi and really liked them. Much tastier than your typical powerbar/luna bar treat. I fueled myself with Raw Bars (one coconut chocolate and one spirulena which turns your spit green) equaling about 500 calories, chomps, and of course M&Ms and potato chips at aid stations. My stomach felt great the whole race, even better, my stomach felt great after the race and I wolfed down an entire meal right afterwards! I may not be able to depend on gels anymore, but I'd like to slowly reincorporate them because they are a great fast fuel. My take away is that I cannot depend on them for my only fuel. I also saved some M&Ms in my pocket to share with Cuz at the end of the race!

3. Finishing Strong

Man the course kicked my butt. I talked to people afterwards and the general consensus was everyone ran about 15min slower than expected. I battled a lot of mud and snow on the back half of the course. I ran conservatively the first half, working on strategically power walking when it made sense. From mile 13.2 to Mile 19.8 there was A LOT of walking. Some of it intentional power walking, but a lot of walking on straights and downhill because it was just so hard to try and run. How I managed to not fall this entire race is a bit of a miracle. I did finish and was able to muster up my energy to hit the town that night with my friend Shelley. About a week post race my muscles feel great. I was even able to play frisbee Monday night.

Lowlights

1. Blisters

Ryan convinced me to wear long socks. The long socks I brought were new and untested. While they provided great shin protection through the knee deep snow, they destroyed my arches. I've never had such bad blisters before (even worse than the post Vegas bad shoe choice blisters).

2. Salt Pills

I forgot salt pills. Considering I usually forget something on race day it wasn't too bad that I only really forgot one thing. However...I really believe salt pills are important for good hydration and I wish I had remembered them, potato chips can only do so much.

Other than those two things this was a great race. I needed a humbling experience to remind myself that I can still finish races even if things don't go perfectly. For my first trail race of the season and my first long race since the 50miler I'm excited for what this season has in store for me.  Next up is a road half marathon mid April and then Quad Rock in May!

Salida Run Through Time Preview

Race season has officially started! Despite the road races I did earlier, I feel like my first trail race of the season marks the start of running season for me.  What better wait to start than one of my favorite marathons: Salida Run Through Time.

Currently the weather is looking awesome. Per the race director there's snow on the course which might stick around this week. I'm ok with that. Snow, mud, ice, rocks to trip on, that's all part of the fun of trail running. It is nice to not have to post-hole, but I can manage a little muck on the shoe. Snow and ice make downhills a challenge which is frustrating. I've become accustomed to running as fast as I can downhill to make up for some slower uphill climbs. The word of warning on the email was "no records will be set" so that sort of sets the tone for my expectations.

My training, as I'm beginning to realize at this point of the season, is minimal but doable. I again didn't get in as many long trail runs as I would like and in all honestly I've been a huge slacker the last few weeks. Largely due to being out of town so much. So it is what it is. I would be lying if I wasn't a little disappointed in myself, but I can't change that in a week so I just need to move forward with the current tools in my toolbox.

My time last year was 5:32. I'm hoping to beat that time. Optimistically I would crush it and get 5hrs, realistically if I run a 5:31:59 I'll be happy and count it as a win. I feel physically stronger than last year. I crushed Quad Rock, but that was with the benefit for several more months of training. That training doesn't carry over to this new year, but I am definitely stronger so I don't think it is unrealistic that if I feel good I can do it. I'm more worried about the fatigue that sets in at mile 18 and if my knee is going to do that weird thing where it hurts a lot from mile 17-20 and then mile 22, and then mile 24...etc.

I am also in a much much better mental space than I was last year. I think I literally made it to Salida and ran the race on fumes in 2014. Said fumes also carried me through a night of drinking and loud closet discussions with Tower. (Yes we literally sat in a closet and had a discussion, I don't really remember why). My brain was all over the place, emotionally I was drained and physically I was unprepared. It's actually pretty amazing that I finished last year in retrospect. Being fueled by stress, WTF am I doing with my life, and pure adrenaline doesn't usually last an entire 26.2 miles. So I'm headed in to this race feeling pretty positive about life in general and pretty pumped to run some trails with some awesome people.

Speaking of awesome people:

I'm extra excited because there's a good crew of newbies joining me. I unintentionally started a mission to convince ultimate frisbee players that trail running and distance running is awesome. I think it's working. There will be an awesome crew running the half marathon and I think they are going to love it! Wait until they see the bounty available at the aid stations: M&Ms for everyone (except for the 2 milers you just get to chill at the finish and drink beers).

It's going to be a great weekend to cap off 4 weeks of traveling every weekend. I get to stay in Colorado, run on trails, drink beer, and be with friends. Woop Woop!

Pride or acknowledging your greatness

It's not always easy having confidence in your abilities and even harder to have pride in them. I get asked pretty often why I run and have some good answers depending on the crowd. What I still have a difficult time with is when people are impressed by what I do. All I do is put one foot in front of the other; I just do it longer than some people and cover a few more miles. In all honestly, this type of attention and praise makes me really self conscious and slightly embarrassed. Being in front of groups is never something I've struggled with when it comes to presenting or giving speeches. When the center of attention is about me specifically it is really hard to put off that same air of confidence.

I don't win races, I don't win my age group (unless it's a 5k in Bentonville Arkansas), and, as with my 50 miler last year, sometimes I just try to get to the end in enough pieces to count.

Catt and I post Quad Rock. I'm wearing one pant leg, one shirt arm, one shoe, and my knee is bleeding...Enough pieces to count says my finisher mug.

Nothing that I do as a runner will show up in my college alumni magazine or get me a running sponsorship. So perhaps it's uncomfortable for me to receive praise when I don't feel like I've done any of the things that warrant it.

We are our own harshest critics and I was reminded of that this past weekend in Vegas. Trouble in Vegas is a low stress, have fun, be silly, drink beer, and get no sleep tournament for the post college teams. It's pretty much the opposite of playing at Nationals, Fright Flight might be the only tournament more opposite than that. So again, this is a tournament that doesn't matter with teammates who put more emphasis on funny groupme posts and eating ground fruit than winning all the games. So it's silly that in one of our games I got down on myself. I dropped two discs in the endzone. Which is uncharacteristic of me. I was so mad at myself. I had to take time on the sideline and throw/catch with a teammate to reset. But my frustration did not go unnoticed by one of my teammates. So now I was in a position on the sideline having to listen to someone tell me, remind me, that I'm a great player and to get out of my head.

Why is it so hard for us to acknowledge our greatness when things go right? Why is it so important for us to acknowledge it when things go wrong?

These knuckleheads won a spikeball set and your hearts!

I feel fortunate for having a new friend/teammate remind me of the bigger picture of my role on the field. It's so important to acknowledge your greatness when things are going horrible in ultimate for two reasons. First: if your opponent sees you down and mentally out of the play that's a big tasty weakness to exploit. Second: if your team sees you down and mentally out they worry about you and not about the right here right now moment of the game. Two drops over the course of two days, 9 games, hundreds of points, cases of beer, is actually pretty good. We won the tournament. Not despite the fact that I dropped two discs, but because I was a fully engaged member of my team. You can't be perfect, but you can be your fabulous self. It's hard to accept praise and harder to do it when you feel like you don't deserve it, but it's so important to acknowledge your greatness and allow others to do the same.

This tournament helped me remember the bigger picture of my role in running and races. A lot of ultra running, especially getting to the finish line, is convincing yourself that you can do it. Convincing your legs, feet, head, arms, stomach, that everything is ok and you just need to keep moving. Unlike ultimate I have no opponent I'm trying to outwit or a team I'm trying to support. I am the opponent and I am the team. I can't let me see a gap to exploit to not keep going. I can't let me see doubt. It's ok for people to be excited, amazed, and impressed by what I do. It's not easy and I work hard to accomplish my goals.

I will still feel uncomfortable being the center of attention and hearing someone tell me how awesome/amazing/crazy it is to run. I come from the land of powder milk biscuits; they help shy people get up and do what needs to be done. But I'm working on being more confident and proud of myself and I can see that only benefiting me in the long run.

Wow you run ultra marathons? Damn right I do, I finish them to, usually in one piece.

Running is just controlled falling

Running and walking is just controlled falling, at least that's what I've been told many times. It makes sense, we propel our body  mass forward only to catch it with our feet, absorbing the shock into our joints only to do it again with the other foot. If you have ever watched the start of a sprint race (think 100 meter dash) you will see the athletes barely catching themselves, driving their knees forward just before they would actually tumble to the ground. It's actually a really cool thing to watch in slow motion. Here's a video I found, look at how far forward they lean into the start!

Sometimes I'm better at the falling than I am the catching myself.

I am not sure if I would say I'm "known" for falling a lot. But a few friends have made the comment once or twice that I do seem to fall a lot when running. I wouldn't say that I fall a lot, but I do fall on occasion. I remember telling my friend Ryan that I was proud when I fell for the first time on a trail run at Salida. I felt like a real trail runner. Many races later I feel less like the graceful video above and more like this:

QWOP just do it, for your country.

If you haven't played this game yet please try it. You will get a great ab workout from laughing.

No I don't fall constantly, but I do fall sometimes. Falling and faltering are just part of the game. Thankfully I haven't fallen and been unable to continue. That's something I can really thank running for showing me. Life can really trip you up and knowing that you can fall, gash your knee, and finish a race is actually a pretty big deal. 

You have to have the courage to put yourself in that position. Yeah, yeah you have to sign up for a race and all that jazz. But it's more than that. You have to take some risks. If you recall from my Quad Rock Re-cap I had a pretty epic fall at the end of the race. I was tearing down this downhill section feeling pretty confident and then ate shit on a rock on the flat section. I didn't think much about it at the time, but I was charging that hill pretty hard and tried to keep that rolling. I can think back to me running even a year ago and I would have been much more tentative and careful on that type of terrain. This time I put myself out there, literally, and went for it. So I fell, I also got up and finished the race faster than I've ever run it before and...didn't shed one tear as the EMS people cleaned out and taped my knee back together. Sometimes you have to take a risk in a race like charging up a steep incline early in the race risking blowing up at mile 18. Sometimes that risk pays off and you kill it. Sometimes you fall, but you finish, you dust yourself off, you feel bad for what happened, but you finish.

So you have to keep going. Falling sucks. It hurts. I fell at a snow shoe race last year and spent 10 minutes trying to untangle myself on the side of the trail after my snowshoes somehow knotted themselves together.  That wasn't physically hurtful, but it did a bit of damage on my ego. But I eventually got up and kept going and finished the race. 

Sometimes I do wish I wouldn't fall so much. But, I'm so glad that I'm the type of person that can put myself out there and risk a fall.