Home

Home isn't the first thing you think about in regards to running. Actually home is usually referenced as a place to run away from. Despite the initial disconnect between home and running, I've been giving a lot of thought to the sense of place and what home means on a larger scale; both in terms of running and life in general.

I recently traveled home for my grandpa "Boompa"'s funeral. As I typed that I realized that I still reference Duluth, Minnesota as home, despite having lived in Denver now for nine years.

Duluth, MN just a little village on a hill next to the greatest lake of them all

I've been away from Duluth for most of my adult life. Yet I still always say I'm going home when I travel to Minnesota and I always label it as home in conversations. The message of home popped up a lot in the few days I spent with family. My nephew Braden asked when I was coming to see his new home, my mom asked when my sister and I would be home after drinking at the local watering hole with my shiny headed friend Matt, the priest at St. Paul's read a passage from a small bible given to Boompa before he went to war about home, and everyone asked if my home in Denver was underwater.

I feel blessed that I have a lot of places to call home, but I also feel like home extends to the people and activities I am lucky enough to be a part of. They are not always in the same place, but the act of being there or participating in it feels like home to me.

For many runners the act of running is home. The feel of moving your legs, pounding your feet on pavement or trail, it has a familiarity to it that evokes the idea of home. You can be running anywhere in the world and the constant will be the simple act of running. When I struggle in a race or training run I find the most success focusing in on the simpleness of running. One foot in front of the other, lift your knee up, keep your torso straight don't hunch over! The repetitiveness and expected helps tune your body back to what it needs to do to accomplish it's task. Sometimes we all need to go home to the mundane and expected to re-tune ourselves to the task at hand.

There are moments in races that feel home to me. Just like home, which can sometimes feel unsteady or exciting, the start of a race brings up the same feelings. For example, the start of Grandma's Marathon has been in the same place every year I've run it. You get on a bus and it drops you off at the Sonju Two Harbors car dealership and you slowly make your way from the biffys to the starting corral. Every year I'm nervous, excited, a little unsteady. But all those feelings are comforting in their familiarity. Home isn't always rainbows and sunshines, but there is comfort in its familiarity.

Beyond running I find home in lots of things in my life. Molly Brown is my ultimate home. Dale's Pale Ale is my home beer whenever I am at a liquor store or random bar in Frisco, Texas. My purple Patagonia Hoody with thumb holes is my home apparel whether runnings, skiing, frisbeeing, hanging, working, etc...

At the closing of Boompa's service, the priest described Boompa's home as being in his chair, with his pipe, and a dog at his feet. Home can mean a lot of things, but it's often the place you feel the most able to be yourself. Or rather you don't really think about yourself because you're able to just be. There's no limit on how many "homes" you can have, and if you are lucky you have many.

Trust is not super lame*

Since running training is currently on the back burner due to Ultimate Frisbee season I wanted to write some more about my awesome team, Molly Brown.

Molly Brown has been a team for four years (this is our fourth season) and we came about as a joint effort between Rare Air and Box two Denver/Boulder women's teams. We've been blessed with an awesome coach: Catt Wilson and our new addition Jeff "Bev" Berget*. This season we experienced some turnover so our roster is pretty raw in terms of Elite tournament experience which meant we had our work cut out for us on day one to hold our Pro status with USA Ultimate.

We've just completed our regular season of play which involved participation in three tournaments: Terminus in Atlanta George, Colorado Cup in Colorado, and the Pro Flight Finale in Davis California. We are gearing up for regionals this weekend in Colorado with the season ending at Nationals in Frisco, Texas. Don't be fooled by the term "pro status" as it does not translate into million dollar contracts and episodes of MTV cribs (is that still a show?). We started off the season without a true gauge of where we were and what we needed to do to get to where we wanted to be at the end of the season. With three tournaments under our belt I think we've got some of that figured out and more.

Things had been rough. There was frustration. There were close games we lost, games we should have won, games we came together and won, but it all came down to something our team had to do as a whole to turn the page; trust. A few weeks ago our team met with Scott Gurst, a sports trainer who focuses on the mental as well as the physical aspects of sports. The biggest piece out of our discussion was trust, and trusting our teammates unconditionally without them having to do anything to earn our trust. With a lot of new faces it was hard for each of us to trust that our new teammates where in it the same way we were. I believe this underlying lack of trust resulted in tentative playing and split second, second guessing in early games. I really think the first time I felt that we as a team turned the page was at our last tournament, the Pro-Flight finale. Our pulls which haven't been one of our strong skills were on point, our deep game was being utilized, and we came back on Sunday after going 0-3 on Saturday to win our last two games and finish 5th. It's hard to pick a defining moment, but you know it when it's there and for Molly Brown it's there.

This is the time of year when I really love my team - not that I don't love them the rest of the year. But this is the time of the year when we (a) have no choice but to love each other because we're together so much and (b) everything comes together for some beautiful post season ultimate. We've also figured out how to win as a team and that is only possible because we trust each other. It's beyond, "I trust that Cuz is going to layout for any disc within a 10 foot radius of her body", I trust that Cuz is doing everything she can to make us successful on the field and off the field.

And she looks really good in her USA gear.

Physical prowess often trumps all other aspects of athletic endeavors when assessing a sport/game/race. "She's a faster runner, he has the most accurate throws (and throws 7 touchdowns to completely kill me in fantasy football), that team has won nationals 5 (6,7..i've lost count) times in a row". So when an underdog wins it's hard to grasp how they did it. Underdogs win because they trust and that trust allows them to play the best they can at that moment which means sometimes they beat the better team/person who is not playing the best they can at that moment.  I honestly feel my team is on the verge of that perfect combination between trust and physical ability. We may not be 100% there, but with each tournament, game, and point I believe we chip away at the barrier of performance loss.

Trust is also trust in yourself. Think back to when Usain Bolt won the 100 meters at the Olympics. One piece that almost everyone remembers is him turning back, milliseconds shy of crossing the finish line in Beijing, to celebrate. While this showmanship to some seemed careless and risky as well as a mockery towards those behind him, I invite you to think about it from a different perspective. Bolt's an amazing athlete, the fastest man alive, no one doubts his physical ability. Some may say that if he wasn't so fast he wouldn't get away with that show of bravissimo. But what's overshadowed is while Bolt and the world know that he is fast, know that he as the physical ability to beat anyone on any day on the track is that Bolt completely unconditionally trusts his ability. His last second slow down at the end of the 100 meters showed just how much trusts in his ability. Now I agree that it was sort of a dick move, but tell me you don't wish you had that same trust in your abilities to do something like that?

As Molly Brown heads into Regionals tomorrow and beyond I can honestly say I trust my team and teammates unconditionally. I know that BTown's roller pulls are going to roll out giving our Fiona Trap the position it needs to get a turn on the first pass. I know that Bev and Catt are going to call the best combination of pods to get the disc back when we're on Defense. I know that when I'm trying to catch my girl going deep that I'll hear 16 voices on the sideline telling me exactly where I need to go. Most of all I trust that everyone of us will put on our Molly Brown Jersey and USA Ultimate approved accessories and step out into the rectangle and do the best we can at that moment with no second guessing. Who's Town is it?

*Talk to Bev about super lame - he'll teach you the ropes

The Simple Joy of Running

With Ultimate in full swing I haven't had much chance to do a lot of running outside of practice. I try to get out at least once a week, but my schedule has been spotty. I've missed so many podcasts of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me it's killing me! I managed to sneak a run in between the storm clouds and it was great.

I forgot how great it is to run when you are not trying to make a cut, catch a frisbee, or chase someone on defense. You really get to notice what is around you and the clouds swirling to the North and South were amazing. I did my normal route around the lakes, one which takes me right by the Lakeside Amusement Park. They just finished redoing the paths around the lake and there's a great gravel/dirt path on the side you can run on which is heaven for your knees and makes you feel like you're not running right next to I-70. As Peter Sagal made another terrible listener limerick challenge pun I looked to the East and saw arcs of lightning and I looked to the West to see (and hear) people screaming on the wild chipmunk. It felt good to be in the city and a part of the city without anyone or anything making me run. No races I've signed up for so this run was just a run to get my muscles moving, the blood flowing, and some piece of mind.

This run reminded me that I'm part of a bigger community, not just of runners, but of everyone that is out and about in the city doing what makes them happy. Running can be a pretty solitary endeavor so it's great to be reminded that there are other humans out in the bigger world.

I've found it's easy to forget the joy of running or working out because so much of it is tied to specific goals. While going on a run is part of a bigger plan of working out and being fit to play ultimate, I didn't let that dictate why I was out there. It was just me using my feet to be part of the cityscape.

I love any reason that gets me outdoors; whether skiing, frisbee, hiking, running, or biking and each has something different to offer. Molly Brown is headed to our last regular season tournament of the season over Labor Day - The Pro Flight Finale* - and there I'll get the chance to play around in the rectangle. Sure there will be a purpose and a reason I'm there, but this run reminded me that the best part is using my two feet to be part of something bigger.

*If you want to follow the action at the Pro Flight Finale go here.

Local man gets lost in woods, runs 100 miles

Besides running races I also love to help out at races. Whether it is the aid station at the North Fork 50 or cheering on runners like Jeremiah in races. At the end of June I was fortunate enough to crew for Jeremiah in his first 100 mile race in the Black Hills of South Dakota. We had a great group of pacers and all around crewers for the race so first off THANK YOU to Tower, Donnie, Cassidy, and Hannah for not only keeping Jeremiah going but also helping me be the best support I could be.

If you've never crewed before it's a neat experience that takes some prep work that you have to be willing to throw out as soon as something changes with your runner. Here's my guide to being a good pacer,crew member with some  "what to do better next time" advice.

1.  Let your runner dictate what he/she needs before, during, and after the race

Anyone training for a race whether it is a half marathon or a 100 miler has a lot of their own preparation to do. There's the training part, but there's also the figuring out fueling and clothing, researching the course and the weather. Jeremiah had a unique problem in the previous two years of the race had pretty much every possible weather you can think of. It's best to trust that your runner has planned out what he/she needs and it's your job to remind them that it's there (extra shoes, long sleeve shirt, various snacks).

2. Except when you have to make the runner do what he/she needs to do

In retrospect I should have pushed the sit down/rest/recover piece more. Since this was Jeremiah's first 100miler we were all learning what to do and he was learning what to do and not do. The last 17 or so miles of the race were pretty tough according to the bearded wonder. He struggled with fatigue (he said he was "sleep running" for awhile) and really nasty blisters. As I noticed some of the other runners come through aide stations and there were two women who made an impact. First of all, they spent almost the entire race slowly catching up to Jeremiah (one was running the other was a pacer). They eventually passed him at the second to last crewed aide station. Her crew made her sit down at every aide station, brought her food, and provided changes in clothing.

Jeremiah's a little stubborn and when he's feeling good he likes to keep going and pushing. He's been pretty remarkable in running through most of anything so it was pretty easy to believe him that he didn't need to stop and he could just keep pushing through. It's hard to think that didn't catch up to him at the end. I also feel like I should have pushed for a shoe change much earlier. He finally changed at mile 94, probably a good 30 miles past when we could have addressed and stopped some of the major blisters that definitely impacted his ability to run.

3. Try and sleep

Try, but you're probably not going to sleep much. I had a chart of expected times at each aide station so the most I could get was 30min here/1hr there. It's was rough, but not as rough as Jeremiah had it. I say try and sleep because unless you have Beth making up a comfy bed in the back of her Prius you might just fall asleep in your chair at the aide station (which I did despite there being a bed in the Prius).

4. Bring Friends

Having friends around at each aide station made it so much better! Kudos to Hannah for keeping me company for most of the evening. We even managed to catch a blue grass concert in Nemo with the four-wheel festival and acquired a new favorite party song called Parking Lot Party. I didn't think I needed it, but it was really nice to just have people there with you as you try to prepare for your runner and then have your runner blow through the aide station so quickly you didn't even finish throwing away the old gu packets. A big kudos to Beth who drove me around all night and made me eat food. Otherwise I would have missed pacing the last 5 miles.

5. Have fun

I know, pretty generic, but you're going to be out in the woods for 27+ hours so you might as well have fun. You especially need to find fun if you're the last pacer because your runner is probably just going to want to stick his/her head down and finish. Don't get me wrong, Jeremiah was great the last 5 miles, I couldn't believe he was still running after I saw what his toes looked like. But he was having a hard time finding the fun in the last stretch so I figured as long as I kept moving he'd keep moving too and to keep moving I had to find joy in things. I got to see an amazing view of Sterling, we got to pass through some cow herds, I got to wisely convince Jeremiah not to eat a jolly rancher he found on the trail...etc.

All in all it was a great race and I was so proud to watch Jeremiah run through the last stretch to finish and get his belt buckle. It strengthened my reserve to sign up for a 100 miler in the next couple of years and I can't wait to crew/pace again.

Sageburner 50k

Well writing the recap of my 50k took longer than the race and probably all the training leading up to it. I have had a draft on the back burner for awhile, but as soon as the race finished I was informed that I would get to play on Molly Brown (ultimate frisbee team) for the 2013 season and just hit the ground running - except this time in cleats. More on that in a future post but for now I do want to recap what my first ultra marathon was like and whether or not I'll do it again.

I did it. I finished. Put a big check next to 50k on the running resume. Also move it to the top of the list of the hardest things I've ever done. I did a lot of thinking over the 7 hours and 15min I was out roaming the Gunnison wilderness and one thing is for certain a lot changed from the start of the race to the finish. As runners we often see changes in ourselves over a longer period of time and in a way that is so subtle it can often be missed. You're running and, if almost by accident, you realize that you've just run 15 miles without really thinking about it. The long road of training helps mold our mind and bodies into a runner able to complete a race. It's important not to discount the changes we experience as we run a race and let me tell you - you can cram a lot of changing into 7hours and 15 minutes.

Here's a list of things that changed for me during the race:

My stomach

I used to think one of the perks of running longer races is the joy of a healthy appetite following a race. Usually I'm starving and want to eat everything that I see. Not always immediately following the race, but typically within a few hours. However after this race I didn't want food. I forced myself to eat some stuff, but I really wasn't hungry and remained that way for several days. I literally could not eat a meal. I have a couple theories on why this race affected my stomach so much and the biggest one was probably the sun. Almost all of the race course was out in the sun - no shade in sight. Just being outside for that long made it hard to eat during the race and it is not too hard to imagine that effect lasted beyond the finish line.  I also consumed way more Gus then I ever have in that amount of time so perhaps I was fueled by Gu for days after.

My legs

I've hit the wall plenty of times in a marathon and even in some half marathons. You don't have much of a choice if you are going to continue or not because the choice for most runners is simple: you finish it even if you are shuffling the last mile. During this race I experienced a wall, I climbed over the wall and then I hit a 6in steel reinforced wall. I learned early on in trail running that if you don't know what the trial ahead has in store (and even if you think you do) just assume it goes longer and goes uphill. I pushed every thought out of my head regarding how much time I think I had left, how many hills I had left, and who was behind me gaining ground. Ok I did think a little bit about how close the person behind me was but just as a motivator. I realized that my legs can do a lot more than I ever thought possible. Especially after it feels like they cannot do any more. I went through every stage of leg fatigue twice and came out still running at the end.

My approach to a challenge

I started the race a bit faster than I anticipated I would. I've always been worried about starting out to fast and having it negatively affect me later on. What I found out was the pain comes no matter how fast you start out and it's about how you overcome that challenge mid-race that makes a difference and you can overcome a lot more than you think (see above comment regarding legs). Sure there's a balance and I still believe you can start something in a way that makes your finish harder to reach, but it was eye opening to me to know I can start faster - blow up a little bit - and keep going all the way to the finish.

Not everything changed during the race some things did stay the same and I'm grateful for that.

Here's a list of things that didn't change

I love Dr. Pepper and I don't know why I don't drink it after every race.

My old patagonia running shorts are and will always be the best running shorts I'll ever own. I can cram Gus, M&Ms, pretzels, oreos, probably another pair of shoes in the pockets.

My love of running - seriously. Despite the pains I cannot wait to do another race. I love ultimate so it's not a bad switch to go into that, but I am already planning my race schedule for next season and hopefully I'll be able to find a race I can do in October after nationals. I doubt I'll do this race again. Logistically it was fine, but the course itself was not my favorite and I felt underwhelmed at the aid stations.

As I noted above I'm now transitioning back in to Ultimate Frisbee season. Another activity you can do for 7+ hours at a time. You can follow us on twitter @mollybrowntown and find us on Facebook. You can also read about our team on our website Molly Brown Ultimate.

Until then here's a picture of me at the Sage Burner 50k with a big goofy smile on my face as I ran the final stretch into the finish. Look at all that crap in my pocket! Why didn't I eat it?

Quad Rock Re-cap

First off - another amazing race put on by the Gnar Runners. Seriously, if you are looking for a great trail race these are the guys to look for. They put on a variety of races through the season and from my experience it will be great. Well marked, well staffed at aid stations, and just an all around awesome time.

Despite this being one of the hardest trail races I've run, I have the most fun running it. I managed to put together a great race which I'm pretty proud about. Here are some of my highlights:

1. 6:01:19!

I am super pumped about my time. I managed to knock off close to 30min from my time the previous year. I attribute the success to two things: more long runs during training and hill repeats. I cannot say enough about how much hill repeats have had an impact on my over all running. They've made my legs stronger and more ready to tackle hard hills later in the race, but also the downhills which often get neglected because "gravity" does a lot of the work.

2. Conquering the "hill"

There are a lot of hills, aka mountains, in this race but I really wanted to run this one section well since it has given me trouble in the past. This hill is part of the second big climb (there are three total) and you start with a long road. As with any trail race I've learned it is best to assume things just keep going up so I knew that there was a longer sustained trail uphill following the road. I was able to run almost the entire thing with a few brisk walking breaks for fuel and quad relief, but it was significantly better this time around. Additionally I was able to run the last climb just as strong making the final push after the unmanned aide station a success.

3. The Course

This really is a great course. It is also super hard, but for anyone who wants to challenge themselves with a tough run and follow it up with beer and music after you should do it. (Although for non meat eaters I wouldn't recommend the veggie patties. As is sometimes the case they get neglected for their meat counterparts and in this case ended up charred on the outside and froze on the inside. I did put together a good cheese/lettuce/tomato bun sandwich). While the elevation climb is a challenge,  there are plenty of long mellow uphills to allow you to actually run. The scenes of the park are breathtaking, from the sun rising over the reservoir as we start off in the morning to the birds eye view of nearly everything at the tops of climbs I cannot blame all the runners who added their cameras to their water packs. Seriously, if it wasn't such a fun course would I be smiling during the last climb:

Quad Rock 25 pre-race

Quad Rock!

This weekend is the Quad Rock 25/50 miler put on by Gnar Runners up in Fort Collins. Checking the weather is doing little to prepare for the race since it changes daily between a 40% chance of rain to a 0% chance of rain. I'm just really hoping I can wear shorts because I love the pockets in my shorts. I can fit a lot of gu in those pockets.

They've changed the course a bit because of the fire, but I anticipate the overall feel of the course will be pretty similar to last year; lots of climbing, lots of downhills, painful downhills at the end. When I ran the race last year I ended up running a good chunk of it with a girl from Fort Collins and it'd be nice to have some other friendly faces/running buddies again. It really kept me motivated during some of the wet/foggy/cold parts. I remember coming to one of the mid race aid stations and you could hear them cheering people on, but you couldn't see them because of the fog. It was a bit surreal, but it was neat to feel like disembodied voices cared about your running.

I tend to have moments of panic before a race and instead of focusing on all the good leading up to it. I remember the week I didn't get in enough runs, the times I didn't get on a trail and got on the road instead, and how my hamstring was tight all last week. It's not worth the worry now, I can't do much within the next 24 hours to change something from weeks ago. No that doesn't mean I'm not nervous for the race, but I am going to focus on what I can control - eating some good meals today, drinking lots of water, and trying to get to sleep tonight.

Going to sleep the night before a race is sort of like Christmas. Except in addition to the present of getting to run an awesome race, you're also a bit scared. I don't think I was ever scared about what my presents would be Christmas morning.

I'll work on a recap of the race next week but for now here are the facts/goals/details going into this race:

Training - Got in some good long trail runs (including a trail marathon and a good 23 mile run two weeks ago). I had a 150mile plus month last month so I feel good about the miles I've put in. Hills have really helped my strength so I'm looking to have some more energy going up those big hills.

Goals - Last year I ran it in about 6:30hrs so I'm trying to beat that time. My big goal would be to get close to 6hrs, but honestly in this race I'm just happy to finish in under 7! A micro goal is to run well on a section just after the aid station where all the drop bags are. There's a road you run up for a long time that switches to trail. I remember having a tough time once it got to the trail part so I'm going to shoot for some strong running in that section.

Weather - currently supposed to be mid 60's with a small chance of rain. Pretty ideal temps so I'm planning on running in shorts!