Day 6 - I got 99 problems but mental hurdles ain't one

I've written a lot about the mental hurdles you have to get over to run races, especially long distance races. Not surprisingly the most common response I get when I mention running a marathon or an ultra marathon is "I could never do it". But you can! I was just talking with a friend about running and why I've always believed anyone could run. As well documented in "Born To Run" (the infamous book that convinced me I should try a 100 miler and a blog) humans are built to run. We were built to chase prey over long distances. What changed? Well we don't have to chase our prey, we don't even have to drive for prepackaged prey someone will drive it to you. We also have a lot of pavement which is just not really great on your body. We made shoes to help, but for anyone who's done a road marathon and a trail marathon you can tell pretty quickly when you have to walk down stairs the day after.

Part of the challenge of running long distance races is convincing your brain, tainted by society, that you can do it. I remember the first time I ran 10 miles, the first time I reached double digit miles. I couldn't believe it had happened and how easy it actually was. And after that, every run that came next; 13 miles, 18 miles, 26.2 miles, 50 miles wasn't impossible. You really do have to just do it and experience that you can do it and there you are. A lot of races are run with doubt. Doubt that you can finish, keep going, get over that next hill. A lot of races are also lost by poor training and injury. But you'd be surprised by how many times just thinking "I can't" gets in the way of finishing, and even more so, signing up for a race.

After I finished my first marathon I felt like I could do it again. After I finished my first 50 miler I know I could probably do anything as long as I didn't mind getting sick after. That's the belief that carried me through the Salida Race Through Time Half Marathon this March. That race was my first long distance trail race in I think 2012. I was terrified the night before. Wrong Way Ryan can attest to that. While him and the Bearded Wonder were out getting beers, I was laying in my bed obsessing over the race map. And I had trained for that race. I had done everything right. Fast forward to this March I "trained" with almost zero trail miles, drank beers with everyone the night before, and just sort of showed up and did it. I did it because the doing 13.1 miles wasn't the hard part. I knew I could do it, I had done it. I also knew I couldn't do it as fast as I wanted to so I paced accordingly.

It's that thinking that's gotten me pretty sloppy at training.

So part of this adventure right now is improving the other parts of racing. My brain is fantastically equipped to complete impossible tasks. My legs, not so much. So my mental hurdle is picking a training run over happy hour and running even if it's a league night. Or in the case of this past week, going on a run after happy hour. That was rough, so many burps. I have to get over the mental hurdle of missing social engagements and pushing myself along with frisbee. I'd love to see a running book dedicated to FOMO.

Here's how I did this week:

Monday                  Tuesday       Wednesday        Thursday        Friday    Saturday    Sunday
Plan: rest                 3m               5m pace             3m                  rest         8m             cross
Actual: 3.26m         2m               3.36m                5.53m              Rest!      8.33m

Total: 22.38m

I ran on a rest day, Monday's are good nights for me to run because I don't have frisbee league so I think I'll likely continue with running on Mondays. I only did 2 miles Tuesday because it was frisbee league. I wore my garmin watch and it gave me 2 miles of running during one game. I consider that sort of pace work because it's a lot of sprinting. Wednesday was after a happy hour so I'm glad I at least got a run in. Thursday was a great hike. Hiking up hill is sprinting in disguise so I think that was a good alternative. Friday I actually rested! Saturday I did a long road run, it wasn't as fast as I want it to be so I'm hoping my times start to get better. Which I know means actually doing the pace runs. Sunday is cross training so I think I'll do a hike and/or some strength training.

So week one was ok. I got in more miles than required so I am glad I took one rest day. Hurdle of week 1 is over and I think I did ok. Maybe I manufactured a way to get over that hurdle in a non-traditional way, but considering where I've been I'm pleased.
                                                   

How to make friends, influence people, and finish a 25mile race

Me hiding under the trail awning waiting for the race to start

Two weeks ago I ran the Quad Rock 25 mile race at Lory State Park in Fort Collinish. It's one of my favorite races, I think one of the races I've run the most since I started distance running, and a race that proves my point: if you can't win races at least make sure the race has a sweet finisher medal at the end. Quad Rock does not disappoint. Rather than a metal clangy thing that I'll wear once and then remove it and look at it each time I have to move as I place it into a different box to totally hang up later, they give you a sweet ass coffee mug that can double as a beer mug.

The weather was not ideal. It was reminiscent to the last time I ran this race although this time it was most definitely raining. So we were running in the rain while also running through the cloud that was raining on us. This is the plot of Inception 2.

Erin Bibeau photography got some great action shots!

Oddly enough, I think the interesting weather played a significant part in my finishing and not feeling horrible. My final time was 6:42:14. Not amazing, but I didn't want to die at the end. The race was so wet, that there were parts unrunnable, at least for most people, which slowed everything down. Maybe I could have shaved 10-15min off with dry trails, but the forced slowness likely contributed to my lack of pain. I'm used to being on my feet for long stretches, but not as great at being on my feet for long stretches going fast. I had to take it slow, which translated into not feeling as fatigued when I'm at my slowest; uphill. I was woefully undertrained for this race. Very few trail miles and very few consistent weeks of runs. On paper I should have crawled across the finish line, but here I am, all smiles and mud.

Coming through the last stretch of trail before getting my mug!

I'm not saying that my training should be mimicked. Having the experience of finishing long races, including this one, in the past mentally I knew I could finish. In distance running, physical training only goes so far. Mentally training your body to continue despite [fill in the blank] is the key to connecting it all through the last mile. It is also something that doesn't leave you as quickly as physical ability. I knew going in I wouldn't break a PR, or win my age bracket, and this time I was ok with that. I never once thought, I can't do this, I can't finish. That took years of hard miles and harder races to develop. That spark that makes me want to beat myself the next time I go out did get a little stronger.

Another significant part of my success comes down to three things: honeystinger, pickles etc, and PBR. I realized after my less than steller half marathons, that maybe I needed to revisit my fuel and calorie intake. I kept thinking "13.1 is so short I don't need to eat". False. Food is fuel and without fuel you putter around. I made a commitment to eat every 30min, with something more substantial at least every hour or as I got to aid stations. I stuck with Honey Stinger gummies while I was on the move and whatever I put in my mouth at the aid stations. This came out to be M&Ms, chips, pickles, cokes, bananas, and a quesadilla. I also celebrated the awesomeness of aid station volunteers, but drinking a small cup of PBR at mile 10. Definitely helped me get up the second big climb.

My next race is the North Fork 50k. Thanks to Wrong Way Ryan for getting me a free entry for being hands down the best aide station volunteer ever. I'm also not in the best training state for a 50k, but conquering Quad Rock give me the strength to know that I can physically get it done. And the chance of being covered, head to toe in mud, is highly unlikely. I think I have my fuel worked out more and keeping my body stocked with the energy I need to finish will be priority number one.

On a more feelings based note, while traveling for work this week, my coworker and were having general discussions about running and my upcoming race at North Fork. I was discussing my use of audio stimuli on road runs vs. trail runs (I do when I'm training miles on pavements, I never use it when I'm racing or running on trails). This brought up one of my joys of trail running and trail races; the people. You meet the best people when you're 4 hours into 32 miles and haven't seen an ice cube in what feels like days. Our discussion brought up a great memory I had a few years back running the North Fork 50k. In the stretch leading up to the last aide station before the finish, I ended up spending a lot of time with 2 women as we slowly made the climb up out of a gully. We were tired, almost 25miles into the race at this point. One of the woman was 70, she was worried about finishing within her goal time. Her goal time was important because her husband told her that if she couldn't finish this race within that time frame, she shouldn't (or couldn't) do a 100 miler she had planned on later that year. That got all of us focused on getting her to the finish so she could keep her goal alive. We talked about races, how running affects our partners and our social lives, how the other woman paced her friend while she was 7 months pregnant. We got to the last aide station and as she got her needs met and I sat down under the awning drinking the beer Wrong Way Ryan saved for me. I wished her well and told her I'd try to catch her on the way down. I did end up catching her about a mile before the finish and we finished that last leg together. As we rounded  the corner into the finish I told her to go for it and she sprinted ahead to her husband cheering. I'm not going to lie, while running tends to make all of us weirdly emotional, this time I really had to hold back tears because it was just so awesome.

I'm really looking forward to North Fork. My time goal, yes I'm taking a leap and putting one out there, is 7:30. Hopefully that includes some beer before the last downhill. It's going to be hot, it always is. I got a good run in today, sweating through about 9 miles in 90 degrees. No stomach cramps and an ice cold Coke when I finished. Here's to new friends, cold beer, and 32 miles of smiles!

There's always something, right?

There's always something...right?

I got a lot of compliments on my hoody.
Kircher said I looked like a Teletubby
Quad Rock 25 2016: 6hours 23min 21sec

When you prepare for a race, a tournament, a big event you always imagine perfection. How everything leading up to it goes just perfectly and you seamlessly float from waking up to kicking ass. In reality, at least in my reality, that never happens.

Looking back at races there's always something that puts a kink in my perfect armor. There was the year before the Salida Marathon when my whole life did a 180. There was the year at Quad Rock I left all of my race food and my watch at home. There was my first 50 miler when I managed to severely roll my ankle just a few weeks out from the race. There was this years Quad Rock when I neglected to bring any of my proper cold/wet running gear to the start.

There really is always something and I'm beginning to think that something is the new perfection. I begin to get worried if something hasn't gone wrong or isn't ideal before a race. When I forgot my food and watch before Quad Rock I ran my fastest race time on that course ever. When I rolled my ankle I finished my first 50 miler. When I forgot my proper running attire, I got more compliments on my "cool hoody" then every race I've ever run combined.

The Dashing Divas Dashed to finish the marathon.
Signs made by yours truly.

We all have a fear of something going into a big race, my friend Carissa lived hers out a few weeks ago at the Colfax Marathon. She was running the first leg of the relay, the race started at 6:00am, she woke up at 6:10am. By the miracle of her two legs and some help from an uber driver she got on the race course and managed to make up a ton of time. Basically shit happens, there's always something, and despite all of that we still go on, we still run, hopefully we still finish.

My lack of posting is not evidence of my lack of running. Since the 50 miler in December I've gotten out quite a bit. I had the Salida Marathon in March, Quad Rock in May, and tomorrow is the North Fork 50k. As I get ready for tomorrow I'm again reminded...it's always something right?

First off I'm moving. No not I will be moving or I am moved. I'm in the actual act of moving. Thankfully most of my stuff has made it to the new place, but up until yesterday most of my race gear was still at the old place. I honestly can't say for sure where everything is except I made it a point to keep my running shoes in my car since the last race. Partly so I wouldn't forget, mostly because they were really dirty.

Second, I need new contacts. Honestly I've needed new contacts for almost 2 years, but I didn't drag myself to the eye doctor for a new prescription until last December. It's now been a 2 month process trying to get 1-800contacts to send me my contacts. I was hoping for some before tomorrow, I'm on my last itchy and dry pair. No such luck, the earliest arrival date is now Monday.

Third, I'm doing this race almost 100% solo. I say almost because thankfully my buddy Ryan will be at my favorite aid station, hopefully with a beer (hopefully? who are we kidding when there's Kircher there's beer). But I'm driving there solo, running solo, finishing solo, and driving home solo. It's hard to not be a little bummed by that. Running is a solo sport, but so much of what I love is the joy of being with crazy runners going out on the trail from 4, 5, 6, sometimes 13 hours. It's in my nature to want to share this so I'm sad that I won't have a predetermined person to share it with at the finish line.*

Despite the above, I feel good about the race. I feel good about my training and my conditioning. I'm really excited to just go out and run. I'm hoping to get up a good recap following the race before I jump right into another one in two weeks; Grandma's marathon!

Here's hoping that again there's something and that something turns into a good finish tomorrow.

*before you go thinking woe is Emily she has no friends. Race timing, work logistics, and health issues have taken away my usual support suspects. They aren't ditching me, they are just humans with human things. It's always something right?

You do You

Red, White, and Blue

I'm still alive. I survived the North Fork 50k (what a difference 18 fewer miles makes) and I'm feeling good. I'm eating food, drinking beer, playing frisbee; a true American Success Story.

In all honestly the 32 miles flew by. I felt like aid stations showed up much quicker than anticipated and my smile never really left my face. The 50k portion of the 50 mile course went so much better for me that every step felt exponentially better than a year ago.

I had the usual moments of tiredness, soreness, stomach upsetedness - that's to be expected on long races. I honestly felt like I was better equipped to handle these and let myself feel the feelings and move on. Speaking of feelings; what is it about races that make you feel all the feelings. ALL THE FEELINGS. Especially odd is the overwhelming feeling of my feelings leaking out from my eyes. I'm not sad either. It's more like I feel so much stuff that my body decides to just let some of it leak out through my eyes.

One mantra that I kept on a loop in my head (when it wasn't Taylor Swift) was You Do You. I wanted to keep reminding myself that the race was about me running a good race; not about beating someone up a climb or at an aid station. Nothing reminded me of that more than when I ran into Sandals. I named this guy Sandals because he was wearing sandals. He was also carrying absolutely no water. I get the sandal thing, once Born to Run came out a lot of people jumped on that bandwagon, but no water? Personally I like my shoes and have no interest in barefoot running. I kick a lot of roots and rocks on accident and my toes already hate me from ultimate cleats I don't need to aggravate the situation. Initially I was annoyed that Sandals was ahead of me. But then I thought, who cares. He's doing his thing, I hope he finishes, let me just do me. He did finish, after a wrong turn at some point near the end. I passed him on the last climb and I'm guessing he regretted not having water on this hot, sweltering, course. I did offer him some of mine when I passed him and he refused.

Where's my sponsorship BLL?

I met some amazing people during the race who also helped keep You Do You in my head. In the middle of the race I ran with two lovely ladies named Randy and Claire. It was Claire's first ultra and Randy was a 70+ badass woman who has many ultras to her name. The three of us trudged up the hill on Tramway to the Shingemill Aid Station and joked that there was no way the high today was "low 70's". I ended up losing Claire at the last aid station (more on that later), but I ran with Randy for awhile after she had some hamstring/quad issues. We talked about running and her worry that her husband (an young 76) would try and convince her not to do a back packing trip if she didn't finish this race with a good time. Randy and I hung out at the final aid station for a bit and she took off while I continued to goof around. I caught her in the last mile and we ran into the finish together.

I drank some weird beer. I know, past stomach issues + weird beer = disaster. Quite the opposite. Turns out past stomach issues + Bud Light Lime + tequila shot + weird beer = a really fun and slightly tipsy 3ish miles to the finish. No I wouldn't say that you should make it a habit of running ultra marathons while drinking (or drunk). I only managed about half of that BLL. Ryan did give me a shot of tequila mixed with lime juice which I drank. I also tried some Cucumber/Mint/Kale Sour beer from ODD13 brewing. That beer...you do you...I don't think I'll drink it again. Out of everything I consumed that day the only thing I really remember burping is that beer the first mile out of that aid station. Oof... Food wise I made the great decision to start eating a lot early on. Not a lot at one time, but I started taking in calories from the get go. I think that made a big difference for the latter part of the race. I had some nausea around mile 18 - 22 and was able to kick it by the time I got to the Buff Creek Aid station. I think my nausea was due to too much coke. Having a good caloric base for my body to feed on helped tremendously at the end of the race.

Overall I'm really pleased with my race. I was hoping for under 7hrs. I knew I wouldn't make that cut off once I got to the last pass through at the Buff Creek aid station, so I just decided to have fun. I could have pushed it and made it pretty close to 7 hours, instead I hung out with Ryan and his awesome aid station crew for 20ish minutes and finished 7:34. Being in such a different place, mentally and physically, from the year before was the highlight for me. Being able to run the entire last section of the race was awesome and coming into the finish with a lot of cheering people made my day! I can't gush enough about how great this race is, how great of a job Janice does organizing, and how awesome all the volunteers are. They even had pickles at all the aid stations! (Side note, frozen pickles loose their structural integrity).

I'm gearing up for something this fall, not sure what the race will be but I'm shooting for a 50. I think it's about time I take on that beast again.

NorthFork 50k

It's hard to believe the NorthFork 50k is on Saturday. In years past I would probably be in full on freak out mode right now but leading up to this race I've been eerily calm and confident. When people ask how long a certain race is or how long I went on a training run I always feel like I have to "qualify" it if I'm not doing the longer race or run. How far is your race this weekend "It's just a 50k". yes I realize how silly saying "it's just" sounds when it's a 50k. Perhaps, going back to a previous post, I am still at a point where I have difficulty celebrating myself.

I've been in this position before, a week before a race, but this time I know what to expect for the most part. I know there will be moments of pain, moments of joy, moments of doubt and moments of confidence. I know all the trails, I know all the climbs, I know it gets hot out in the burn area and that there will likely be a thunderstorm at some point in the day. I also know I can finish, all I don't know is how I'll feel getting to the finish.

One of my biggest goals for this race is to conquer the food demons that plagued me a year ago in the 50 miler. While I won't be pushing myself to the same limit as I did then; 50k is still ample opportunity to have some major nutrition disasters and I want to mitigate that as much as I can. I ordered a big box of Raw Revolution bars and am planning on cutting them up like gummies and eating them along the race course. I've already got a few pickles in reserve that I am going to put in my drop bag at the Buffalo Creek aid station (we pass through it twice on for the 50k). Here's what my nutrition plan is looking like:

Stuff to carry while running:

• raw revolution bars
• sour patch kids
• gels (just in case of emergency)
• honey stinger or GU gummies (whatever is cheapest)
• nuun
• salt pills

Stuff to put in my drop bag:

• sour patch kids
• pickles
• protein (either hummus or tempeh wrapped in a cabbage leaf)
• nuun
• peanut butter cups
• honey stinger waffles

The aid stations have a lot of other items to supplement what I'm carrying (chips, M&Ms, sandwiches, ice, etc). I decided against doing the enduralite powder I used last year. That did not sit well with me and I haven't been training with it. I have been using nuun (both running and ultimate) and it's felt really good tummy wise. I learned my lesson with the pickle shortage last year and I'm sure they will taste awesome at mile 24.3. 

The weather is shaping up to be nice. Highs in the 70s, chance of an afternoon thunderstorm, but not to bad. I'm sure it will still feel hot but 70s is a lot better than 90s, especially when there's shade!

Other than nutrition, I do have a time goal for this race. My first 50k, Sageburner, was a tough one. I came in at 7 hours and 15 mine. I think I can get under 7 hours this go around. I have to figure out what that means splitwise during aid stations, but I think I can do it. I've run these trails so many times and I've got some good hard trail runs under my belt leading up to this. My achilles is feeling ready so all that's left is to lace up the shoes and go. 

I know some people (cough cough...mom...cough cough) are worried about me. My 50 mile experience does not inspire a lot of confidence. The Vegas odds might be in favor of me exploding on Saturday. To rest my critics, and the voices in my head, I feel a lot better prepared this time around. Not just because it's not 50 miles, 50k is not something to take lightly, I feel like I learned a lot from last year and have put in a lot of time figuring out how to run smarter and how to take care of my body better. There will be tough points, pain, discomfort, uneasiness. But that's all part of ultra running. I already requested a beer from Ryan at his aid station and hope to drink more than 1/4 of it! All that aside, I am going to listen to my body, make sure I'm eating, drinking, electrolyting and hopefully that translates in to a good race and a good week after the race. LFG  

Oh hi come here often?

Don't mistake a lack of posting for a lack or running. I've actually been putting in a lot of miles over the last few months just not a lot of typing. As the weather warms up it's about damn time I talk about running, hill repeats, snot rockets and beer.

There is some exciting news on the horizon race wise here is what my calendar is looking like for this running season:

Salida Run Through Time Marathon
Where: Salida, CO
When: this weekend! EEK!

This will be my second year doing the marathon and I'm pretty excited about it. Not because I'm prepared to run a super fast marathon (I have a surprisingly low number of really long runs on the books to prepare for it), but because I really like this race. It's a beautiful course (except for the road) and well put on. I'm also just really ready to get out there and run a race. What I've lacked in long runs I've made up for in hill repeats and consecutive running days. I'm hoping that this translates into something good. My time last year was about 5:32 so it would be great to get under 5:30. Honestly though, I'm just glad to get out and finish. And to eat a lot of M&Ms at the aid station.

Quad Rock 25
Where: Fort Collins, CO
When: May 10

After spending time on the wait list yet again I was just accepted into the race this week. I'm shooting for a faster time as I gear up for my big race of the season in June (more on that later). This is a really tough race and a great way to practice running on tired legs. I'm also hoping to nail down some of my hydration/nutrition stuff so I'm maximizing my energy output with my energy intake. My time last year was around 6 hours so I'm shooting for under 6.

Northfork 50miler
Where: Pine, CO
When: June 28

Yes you read the above correctly. I signed up for a 50miler! I felt like this was the year I wanted to do it. That and my friend Ryan (aka Wrong Way Ryan) scared me into thinking they had filled up before I made the decision prompting an early morning registration. I want to get a fast time in for Quad Rock so I can work on making sure I meet all the time cut offs for the 50 miler. This race is going to be a test mentally and physically and I am going to be so pumped to just finish it. I choose it specifically because I'm familiar with the trails and will have great support at one of the aid stations.

Additional races:

I'm looking at doing one other race in April. I'd actually like to do a fast road half marathon so I can build some confidence going into the rest of the spring. I've looked at the Platte River Buckhorn Exchange Half and an Xterra half in Colorado Springs. The Buckhorn exchange one is pretty pricey for a half ($70) but you do get a lot of food/beer at the end and a free light rail ticket back to your car in Littleton.

I'm also thinking about some fall races. I am leaning towards a year off from Molly Brown largely because of the 50 mile race. I love this team and this team deserves someone on the roster who can put in 100% from the get go. Realistically I won't be able to do that until July which puts me in a tight spot for tournament prep. I haven't ruled it out (I never do until the last minute), but if frisbee isn't in the cards for me this season I'm looking at some fun fall races. I may even convince my sister to run the Twin Cities Marathon!

Looking ahead:

As I gear up for another running season I'm looking forward to growing as a runner. This has been a side passion for mine for so long and it's about time I kick it into a higher gear. I'm at a place in my life where I can focus 100% on this passion and do it, as they say, on my own two feet. The support I've had in the past as been great, amazing actually, but I'm ready to go find my own trails to run and do it without chasing anyone else but my own goal. It's scary to think about taking on such big races on my own, but I think I can do it.